My Internet is down

When I'm trying to finally be more consistent but my Internet decides not to cooperate.

My Internet is going to back down for who knows how long. Spectrum is "working" on it. I'm sorry to those who actually read my stuff. Until then, try to enjoy my precious post until I can post again hope fully by next week

Different Writers

I wanted this post to be for writers like me. Writers who have been writing for a very long time, or even writers who have just started or who want to start writing, but has showed their work to barely anyone. Those writers who when they were growing up, they might not have had the best time in school or in any particular place they were at often that they can’t help but to hold onto just because they can’t forget. Any writer that was experiencing a tough time when they were older and felt that they wrote their best stuff at that time or they felt they could have written their best stuff at the time and didn’t. I am both. I feel like I have written some of my best stuff when I was a bullied child and teenager. I also feel I have written some of the darkest stuff at the time too. Some of the poems I had written, the place where it was written from, was in now an old file from my memory; that time in my life feels almost erased.

It was not very long ago now that I had gone back to my old writing in an older computer and some of the stuff was very dark, disturbing, and mainly concerning. I think what I was going through at the time showed and sadly I just never noticed because of the faith I had in myself.

I also think I had a very hard time transitioning from being bullied all the time by almost everyone in my classroom to no one at all. My mind had gotten so used to dealing with the harassment, the name calling, the pushing, the hurtful teasing, the belittling and humiliation; my mind had gotten so used to it that it thought it always had to happen because it always did. I still remember having a moment when I thought, “No one is going to bully me?...”

It’s beyond sad for a kid to be bullied so much that they thought it was weird when they weren’t being harassed in some way or form; what became their norm.

Despite everything I was going through at the time, for some reason, I never lost faith in myself or what I was capable of doing at the time. I felt if I did lose hope in myself, then I would have lost myself completely and who knows what else could have happened to me. I guess no matter how many people said they didn’t like me or didn't want to be around me, I showed myself, in a way, that I wanted to be with me and I should keep being around because who else was going to be with me aside from myself? There was no reason not to be my best company. I never noticed at the time but as I’m typing, I loved myself more than I have ever realized.

All of that before, I was able to put into my writing and now that I’m older, I wish I had written more.  Maybe I could have gotten over things faster if I had spent more time writing, if I was able to find a space where I felt I could truly be myself and not have any worries and just write.

I know there will always be people saying that writing is easy, it is just putting words down on paper but there is more beyond writing down some random words on random paper; this is a skill. Not everyone can write well but everyone can definitely write and it goes for almost every skill. Everyone can learn to cook but not everyone will cook well for example.

I know I went in a different direction with this post but we as writers want to bring our readers to a place they have been wanting to go. We want our readers to not only be entertained but to feel their emotions and to be comfortable with said emotions. We want our readers to have a good time and stay for the entire ride. Even if they may not like the ending that’s okay because some are not going to like the ending. Some people are going to hate the beginning and despite the middle and that is fine because they are reacting. It is so bad that they have to react and they have to tell people how bad it is. Similar with movies; they have to tell other people how bad it is. The more people talk about how bad our writing it, the more likely that there will be people who will go and read it for themselves our of sheer curiosity; to truly experience how bad our writing really is.

Then one day, we write something that is really good. Those people who went around saying our stuff was bad, is going to find that good piece of writing and will see how good it is. Those people still have us in mind even we really end up writing some terrible garbage. Once they see that the writing is not garbage, they may be so shocked that they like it so much that they have to go around telling the same friends that the person who used to right poorly is now writing some good shit and they have to tell everyone.

Some people say humans are mysteriously creatures. I disagree because as humans, we adapt to our surroundings in a short amount a time. With adaptions comes tendencies. We have a lot of tendencies and as writers, writers who want to become someone one day, I think it is important to use our tendencies to our advantages to find ways to get our stories out there to said people because when we think something is trash, we tell people. On the other side, when we think something is amazing, we never keep that sort of thing to ourselves. 

The title of my post is 'different writers' because that is who we are, different writers. We are not the same writers we were when we were kids, when we were teenagers, and not yesterday. I know it will not feel like it all the time but we are different writers and we will continue to develop. That is why it is important to continue to embrace our writing and trust in it. We wrote what we wrote for a reason.

So keep writing...

I will end things here. Everything I say here is merely a suggestion. No matter what I suggest, you can make the final decision in what you think is best for you. Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and share with me how long you've been writing and which genre is your favorite to write.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

Writer's Block Suck

If any one of you guys out there consider yourself to be a writer of some kind, then you know very well how much it sucks to have writer's block especially when all you want to do is write.

I noticed that the older I get, the more writer's block I am able to experience. It sucks because when I was much younger, I don't think I have ever gotten writer's block, I was always writing some kind of story in my notebook no mater how short or long it was; there was always a story written.

As I've gotten older, gained more responsibilities including sustaining and maintaining my mental, physical, and spiritual health, it can be hard to find some time to sit down for at least an hour and just type or write.

I know I need to be somewhere quiet with just my thoughts and my parents can sound like four loud people even though it is just them two. That is the reason why I usually write when they go to sleep but of course, it is night time and either a lot of my ideas have faded or I am just too tired to get anything down on my devices or paper. It fucking sucks.

I have had nights where I have had some great ideas and couldn't get the down because I'd either be still half asleep and I'm not thinking to write down my ideas, I'm thinking about going back to sleep.

Growing up, I do not think I had a lot of books where I just wrote stories, I remember only having one, big, yellow, spiral notebook that I wrote a bunch of stories in. Everything else I have are just my journals for my personal writing; not for the world to see.

I have tried buying big notepads thinking they would work but I found myself not  really writing in them. I did a few summers ago but sadly, it did not workout well. Then I tried carrying an even smaller notebook around and that didn't work either for me. Maybe I should go back to my roots and d what I did when I was a kid; just carry around a regular spiral notebook; nothing too fancy.

This summer, I want to try to write more than I have in the past few summers. My mentor feels a sense of responsibility to get my foot in a door somewhere that has to do with writing. I'm not sure if she wants me to get published but she wants my writing to be recognized somehow. As terrifying as that is, I do too. I do want to be a published writer at some point. I do want a handful of my books to be a best-seller. I want to be a best-selling author or a best-seller in a category for a while. I would want some of my books and/or novels to receive some form of reward because I'd want my books to feel good and be recognized for who they are; wonderful works of art for everyone to read and enjoy.

I'm talking about books like they're people. They're not people but they're beyond special to me. Whatever I have written since I was young, even if I do not know where they are anymore, they are still beyond special to me. I have been writing for years and it is just a huge part of me and what makes me, me... All I want is for people to read what I have been writing for years, months, days, and to just react to my writing. I know if I get some form of reaction, even if it is a disgusted reaction, my writing is good because it made the reader feel something. Anything...

So if you consider yourself to be a writer of whatever genre, this summer, write something. Even if it's just a poem.

I will end things here. Everything I say here is merely a suggestion. No matter what I suggest, you can make the final decision in what you think is best for you. Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell me what you do when you're experiencing writer's block.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

Our Fashion Sense

When it comes to fashion, everyone has their own sense of it. Due to everyone being different and brave, we have so many different styles today. We have so many patterns, color schemes and even different styles of denim alone.

Fashion is one of my hobbies and I love how inspiring fashion can be to others to create more fashion for our future.

I know some people look at clothes as nothing special but we all wear clothes, obviously, and it is because someone decided to design and make our pants, our hats, and our shirts. Even if your wardrobe isn't full of high fashion pieces, you still picked out clothes that tend to your personality. 

I have heard people say that clothes are whatever and nothing special but for others, including myself, clothes is a very big deal. They show how I am feeling and how I decided to express myself that day. I love having lounge wear, active wear, and special occasion clothes for example. I love having clothes for any occasion because no matter where I go, I want to be able to show a little bit of who I am.

Sure, when it comes to just about everything, there are going to be pros and cons. There are going to be clothes that look stunning while on the opposite side, there are going to be some pieces of clothing that look not so great. Either way, someone decided to make those pieces because they knew, somewhere in their hearts that someone, somewhere, would love to wear it.

I have seen children and adults harassed  for what they were wearing because others didn't think it was 'acceptable'. I don't think it's cool to harass anyone for any reason because there are so many reasons why people picked the outfit they decided to wear outside of their homes. I know there are many people who can not wear exactly what they want to wear so they make due and buy what they are able to afford. Others wear what they wear because they feel comfortable in that outfit that day. Other wear the outfits that they do because that is their work's dress code. There are many reasons, obviously, as to why people choose the outfits that they do and we should respect whatever makes the person feel more comfortable in their skin.

I know for some it may sound silly to even talk about not harassing people over an outfit but others, including myself, can relate to this. I know I used to get picked on because I was not wearing certain brands or if my shoes looked strange to some people but I wore what I wore because I thought it was cool and that should have been it. Sadly, I did not know how to express that confidence to my former classmates in order for them to stop expressing their hurtful comments about my clothes.

For anyone who feels that their clothes is not enough for them, it currently is enough for you. What other think of your clothes should not matter. So long as you are comfortable in what you are wearing and like what you are wearing, that is all that matters 

It is never cool to intend to hurt someone about something that they like even if you did not like it. If they like it, they liked it for some reason. If you want to recommend something you think might look nice on them then approach them about it in a thoughtful way. Just express to them that you have another idea for an outfit and see if they are willing to try it. It is all about making sure we are all comfortable in our skin. We also have to try to prevent any form of harassment and its occurrence should at a minimum. We should not be tolerating any form of harassment anywhere.

Another reason why I wanted to talk about fashion is because it is getting warmer. Wear whatever makes you feel less hot, sexy, and amazing. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. If they do tell you otherwise, walk away from their negatively. Obviously they feel low about whatever may be going on in their lives and they felt tearing you down would make them feel better. Do not give them that satisfaction. Strut.

I will end things here. Everything I say here is merely a suggestion. No matter what I suggest, you can make the final decision in what you think is best for you. Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell me your sense of style.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

Our Hygiene

Since it has gonna warmer as of recent, I thought it would be a good idea to talk about our hygiene for a little bit. 

We are all familiar with our physical hygiene; taking a shower regularly and putting on deodorant. But there is also sleep hygiene. I did not know that is what having a good sleep habit is called until my primary physician told me about it. I thought it was pretty cool. My physician told me a little about it but I wanted to do my own research to learn a little more about it.

My doctor told me that lighting is very important. If you're the type of person who sleeps better in the dark, then make sure your room is as dark as possible at night. If you're the type of person who prefers to have some light, then maybe get curtains that are not so thick or maybe a little night light even to help soothe you to sleep.

My doctor also mentioned the most important thing, not to have ANY DEVICES in your room. That is the reason why some people do not have televisions in their rooms. Others though, prefer a television to help them drift to sleep. Some people find comfort in the white noise. My doctor stressed not to have any cellphones, tablets, etc in the room because the lights keep you up. Our devices emits bright blue light that we can see them even on the sunniest times of days. But at night, your brain confuses the light with the sun since they release a similar amount of brightness. When that happens, you brains stops releasing melatonin, the hormone in your body that tells you it's time to fall asleep

That is why it is very  important to not to go to bed with your phone, or any device, if you want to get a good amount of sleep at night.

Sleep hygiene is very important, our mental hygiene is very important as well. You want to take care of yourself and try to do the things you love as often as possible. Along with being with the people who makes you happy as often as possible, The hygiene of our body overall is vastly important and I will continue to stress this because we can never talk about being healthy enough. There are so many people who find it easier to be unhealthy than healthy and they are right. In some cases and areas, it is easier to be unhealthy than healthy because of where they are able to purchase healthy products. 

On the other side, when we are able to find products that are healthy for us but can be out of the price range for some. 

In NYC, a salad can be as much as $8.00 meanwhile a double cheeseburger is $4.99. It's outrageous because that price is just about everywhere for ingredients that are not scarce, such as hard boiled eggs, lettuce, spinach leaves, or even some types of nuts such as walnuts and peanuts. Nor are these ingredients hard to find so why charge so much? That is our issue but for those companies that do charge so much for their healthy products do not have a tremendous amount of money to ship out all of their healthy products compared to their competitors who are giving out very unhealthy food but have been doing it for years. So of course, by now, their businesses are wealthy like such companies, KFC or Popeye's to name a couple. They do offer healthier food on their menus but I know I'm not sure how they cook their healthier food. How we cook our food is very important. Grilled chicken for example, is healthier than fried chicken because anything fried just isn't great for us.

I'm not saying do not eat fried foods but do not eat them everything day or once a week even. Eat fried food once in a blue if possible. Foods like fried foods should be eaten in moderation if you do not want to feel slow and sluggish most of the time. Bad food will slow us down, make us feeling lazy along with making us feel sluggish because what is mainly is those foods are grease and fats that weighs up down. That is why it is very important to eat fruits and vegetables because naturally, the give us a lot of energy and strengths and does not weigh us down because there are no fats in fruits and vegetables of course, mainly vitamins and nutrients. 

But of course I do have to stress to please take your regular showers, put on your deodorant, bring it with you if you need to reapply and to please put on your body spray and sprites of cologne or perfumes. The summer is really hot and we will sweat a lot. It is important to stay on top of ourselves because even if three days pass without taking a shower or swapping out of our under garments regularly, we will start to stink. Don't make it unbearable to be around you because you didn't want to shower a second time in the day. 

Also, not every scent compliments you. Make it your mission to find a scent that compliments you and that you love. Go to places where you can sample the scent before buying. Go to places where they have bottles of the products on display so that you can take your time smelling everything and finding one you really love. Do not just buy any body scent and call it a day. You should love it what you are going to put on your skin. That is how you ensure of its daily use. Same with your deodorant!! Not all deodorants are the same nor made the same! I have sensitive skin so there are plenty of deodorants with certain alcohols that I cannot use or else it will break me out and pimples on your armpits are nightmares. Be mindful of the deodorant you use for your skin and that can absorb your sweat so that you are not giving off bad odors in the middle of your day.

Make sure to wash you hair however often as you should for your hair type! Brush you teeth, floss, and rinse you mouth our with mouth wash! Very important to keep your gums clean and healthy! Oral hygiene is another big one! Go see your dentists, dermatologists and primary physicians and actively listen to their advice; they went to school for years to help you to stay healthy as long as you possibly can! Take care of your hair, skin and nails this summer along with your teeth. Clean under your finger nails!  All very important to looking younger longer and being healthy overall!

I will end things here. Everything I say here is merely a suggestion. No matter what I suggest, you can make the final decision in what you think is best for you. Please follow me on my TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell me how you keep your hygiene on point during the hotter seasons.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

Emotional times in Friendships

We all know that despite how perfect we think most of our friendships are, we know deep down they're not and tough times are going to happen for whatever the reason may be. Anything could happen, just like with everything in this life, can happen to our relationships. Our words do matter when it comes to your loved ones or anyone else you have an encounter with.

I wanted to talk a little about it because I have had a few very emotional days as of late and I honestly was a bit scared of how my body may or may not react to it all. You just never know when it comes to certain situations how you body or mind may react especially if there are certain situations you just don't handle well for whatever the person reason is; all our of our upbringings are different no matter how similar they can be.

I am the type of person that I know how to push things to the side that I do not find significant. The problem in that is if I do not come to terms with the situation first it may bottle up inside me without me realizing and can be released in other ways that may not be healthy not just for me but for those around me.

I felt emotional on those days because of the conversations I was having with certain people. I am not good when things start to escalate such as if people start getting yelling or screaming seriously. I am not good with those sorts of situations because of the family issues growing up. I have developed a little bit of anxiety over time but it has decrease the more I have being having these kinds of conversations. I know it sucks to be anxious but sometimes facing people or situations head on can help a lot for the future.

The first conversation was through a messenger but the person started off the conversation being nothing but rude including with the greeting. The person did not give me a hello or even stated that things are intense between us and we should fix things. The person opened up the conversation by stating "whatever it is that you have to say to me, tell me, here is your opportunity." I was taken a back and couldn't help but to feel irked because who does this person think they are to speak to someone else so rudely? Also, I find it rude to get in contact with a person you're not that close with late at night. It already shows that the other person did things on their time and did not consider the other person's schedule. This person contacted me at 10:30 pm, Eastern Time. Anything past 7 o'clock, and we're not close friends is late to me.

One thing I will say is not to tolerate rude people. You get away from those sorts of people because if they are rude to you once, they will do it again. I can promise you that. Even if it doesn't happen the next week or so, even the next year, they will be rude again and it may be worse than the first time.

I had a talk with another friend that leaves me questioning the friendship even more to the point where I do not think I can no longer call him a friend. Our friendship was starting to wilt because I thought our friendship was closer and it turned out not to be which hurt and disappointed me deeply. I know plenty of you have been through situations like this and yes, it does suck to lose a friend. The silver lining is that it leaves room to meet new people to make new and amazing friends that are healthy and does not stress you out.

Another reason I wanted to talk a little about this is because there are people out there who do not react to these sorts of situations well and that is why I want to keep talking about our emotions and our thinking processes. I am a sensitive person. In my case,  I will talk the situation for an extra day more than some other people. Although, there are people that internalize the situation, for example, without meaning to; it was the way their mind and body chose to process the situation. There are some people who generally feel that they are at fault for the entire situation whether or not it was their fault at all. That is deeply concerning to me.

Those are some reasons why I feel is it important to have these conversations about these kinds of situations to remind the person or people that yes, it is a tough time but that is exactly what it is; a tough time and it will pass. Times like these does not mean you have a hard or tough life, it means you are going through a hard and tough time. Try to remember to keep in mind that you do your best and to realize that you are human and will make mistakes.

During those times, I know where I may have been at fault in certain situations but I refuse to beat myself up over a situation(s). Other should not beat themselves up over it either because that will not solve anything for the other parties involved or you. You have to put yourself first because when no one else does who will? 

A couple tips I do have for these situations is to take a break. Take some time away from the situation to give yourself some time to process everything. It also gives all parties an opportunity to not get mad at each other and say things they may regret or hurtful out of anger. That is a common thing to happen because we're all human but if this is a person or people you want to keep in your life, be aware of your word choice and in what tone you choose to express your words through.

Another tip is to drink water, tea, your favorite beverage that is not alcoholic and/or eat something. Stressing over the situation won't solve it either so try drinking something. The most important thing I can suggest is to BREATH in deeply. Do not forget to control your breath! Big, big tip. It might sound funny but you would be surprised how often we literally forget to breath in and out properly. Doing this helps to clear your mind thus thinking through the situation rationally. 

When you're going through a tough patch with your friend or whomever is important to you, the whole point is the resolve things and to reach a compromise. You want to hear each other out and figure things out together. Do not try to 'one up' each other and have the last word because that is not the solution either of you are looking for. That happened during a conversation with someone I do not think I can consider a friend anymore. Things got to a point where it felt like the person wanted to have the last say instead of resolving all the issues they had.

Keep in mind that you love this person or people and you want what is best for all of you.

I will end things here. Everything I say here is merely a suggestion. No matter what I suggest, you can make the final decision in what you think is best for you. Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell me how you settle disagreements with your loved ones.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

'Dear White People'

Before anyone assumes anything from the title, which happens, this show is not about what you may be thinking. Barely anything in the show is literally towards white people. Even the title is the beginning of a letter you are writing to something to talk about something with them. That is basically what this show is about; explaining a situation. 

Of course I needed to talk about this show for a bit because I am all about calling out racism whenever it is present, towards any and all races, and this show is partially about that. This show is based off the movie which I need to see and will do as soon as I find it so if anyone knows where I can watch it, please send me the link on my twitter @midnighthuee.

The show is about black students at an Ivy league school who are dealing with racism on their campus. The students end up not feeling as safe due to an black party that happened on campus and it is a real thing; school throwing culture parties where they come dressed up as a certain race or culture. Check it out here if you've never heard or seen it before like myself. Photos, complex, LATimes. Due to them feeling a lack of safety, they decided to band together to take a stand to make the school realize that a lot of people on campus are still racist towards black people specifically. 

This is where things start to get interesting with the show because each black person is very diverse when it comes to their upbringing and how they decide to solve the race situation on their campus. Everyone wants the same things but goes about it in such different ways and it does become a little sad to watch because I think anyone would say why won’t they just work together if they all want the same solution? In a way, they agree that racism is of course an issue on their campus but the more they try to fix things, they end up pushing each other away because they can't agree on a way to solve this problem. Then the show goes in a bit deeper to show how black people can treat each other which is another huge issue. Not only with black people but with the other two races too; White and Asian.

Issues dealing with how people in your culture or race treat you is not exclusive. It does and can happen to everyone. "The majority" picks on other white or Asian "minorities" they feel are not “white enough” or “Asian enough.” That phrase still boggles because what the fuck does that mean that someone is not enough of their race which makes up their entire living and breathing body? What happen to the people who think it is okay to say to someone “you’re not __enough.” Everyone is not trying to be a certain race, that is who they are. Black people are black people, they are not “trying to be black. Asian people are Asian, they are not “trying to be Asian” and white people are white, they are not “trying to be white.” That is who they are and if you can not accept a person for how they were born, for who they truly are, there is always a door you can leave through.

Another situation is that some people did not think that racism was still a problem. There is a black girl in the show who was more than baffled that racism was still occurring. Everyone else who was are aware of these issues looked at the girl funny, like she was stupid even because how can a black girl not know that racism towards her race still happens? Her upbringing. Her parents probably ostracized her from that way of thinking. It can happen to everyone even in our technology era. I know it is easy to look at a person like they're stupid for not knowing something that is a large problem but for whatever reason, they don't. It is more important to educate that person than to belittle them. I am guilty of looking at people as if they're stupid but I should not make it a habit. 

We want to create a space where everyone feels safe enough to not know about something and then learn about it soon after.

This show is not an attack towards white people what so ever. It is another an attack towards any race or ethnic group for that matter.. My intake of the show is that it is trying to show a part of life that other people may not be aware of.

That is all I have to say besides watch the show and just enjoy it for what it is. Don't try to make things into a race thing or ethnicity thing, that is what the show is for. It is a great show and I highly encourage others to watch it. 

I will end things here. Everything I say here is merely a suggestion. No matter what I suggest, you can make the final decision in what you think is best for you. Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell me what you think of the show if you've seen it already or why you don't want to watch the show. Feel free to share.

Smile :) Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3