Maybe not meant for you?

I have been pushing myself a lot as of late and when I mean as of late, I meant most of this year because I felt that I had something to prove. In actuality, I have nothing to prove to anyone and I certainly do not have to prove that I can find a better job, maintain it, and make a living for myself over time. I felt I had to because I officially graduated from college and it did not hit me until I was at my actual graduation when I thought I would not be; I didn't want to walk but then I remembered that I promised my past self that I would, keep you promises even the ones to yourself, you'll thank yourself later for it.

Ever since I finished my last semester of school last year around the Christmas season, I felt that I had to start working right after; right after 4-5 years of college, talk about insane mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. It due to the country I live in, our society and how things can be. I am lucky enough that I have parents who are more than willing to help me until I make a better living for myself and they genuinely do not want me to push myself to hard; they barely get to see me as is. They do not get to see me too often because I set it up that way, I love my parents but some relationships need more space than others and my relationship with both my parents require plenty of space in order to work. I still felt though, that as soon as I was officially done with college, I should start working and that was what I did and I was happy with that. 

I was able to find a part-time job before I started my last semester as I have mentioned before in previous posts and things were going very well, I really liked working at my last job but now I have a new job. I am still a tutor and I continue to find new likes that I was never aware of. As I also may have mentioned, there was a point this year when I was not working and it did effect me; that is a story for another possible post. One night at my new job, I had a 7th grader who writes like an elementary school child. Even though it was late, I was more than willing to take as much time as possible to ensure that his writing improved even if it was by a tiny smidgen. I think it is because of how much I love writing that I am more than willing to teach someone else how to write as well as they want to. I understand that writing is not for everyone but I know everyone can improve over time; you will not write the same way you wrote a year ago with some form of practice.

Onto the main idea of this post, I loved working at my last job but some events pushed me to find another job, whether it be two part-time jobs or a full-time, I felt it was time to go and I was feeling that way for quite some time. Now at my current job, I continue to feel as if these jobs are internships and I figured it is because I'm not being challenged enough. Even though I feel that way, I do have some challenges here and there with myself and figuring out what I really want to do with myself and what I feel is better for me. I always wanted to be a doctor and I might still end up being a doctor but not a medical doctor how I originally thought. Now I am even starting to change my mind about previous plans such as wanting to go for a doctoral in psychology to a PhD because it looks like I do like and might even enjoy teaching people younger than myself.

I have never taught people my age or older because I am not comfortable with the idea but it might happen one day because I do not know how I am going to end up teaching in the future even though I want to continue to work with children therapeutically.

What I am trying to say is that there are some things meant for you and even if you think it is meant for you it might not be and that's great. I am not 100% happy with where I am in life right now and that is causing me to push myself too hard when I shouldn't be because it isn't as if I'm homeless scavenging for food; I have a warm place to live, food, clothes on my back and internet access so clearly I am more than okay. I have to my personal realization that for the most part, everything is more than okay and they will get better. Clearly this form of living is not for me because I believe everything in my life will change over time, everything that is going on now is definitely temporary because you will naturally outgrow of it and you won't notice at first until a good amount of time has passed and that does not have to be a scary thought at all. The things that will remain that same are the best things for you and even then those things and people will change because everything develops and changed naturally and it is normally in the best way.

Don't worry too much about that person you're crushing so hard on because multiple things can happen but only the best thing for you will happen in the end no matter how long it takes. Try not to be so hard on yourself like how I'm being because you are only causing stagnation such as how I've been causing so of course we aren't going to move forward until we fully accept where we are and reassure ourselves that it is more than okay. I never thought I'd be here last year and even if I'm not 100% happy, I am still pretty damn happy with where I am and you should too with whatever you have. You have your computer, you favorite sweater, you best friends that you've been friends with for 4 years, that cup of coffee or tea you had today, someone cute person spoke to you today or picked up something you dropped for you and you made sexy eye contact, anything, learn to become happier because it was yours. It is yours forever and no one can take your experiences away.

The next time you think something might not be for you, it probably isn't because something better is for you, just gotta look for it or be more patient when you can't find it right away, something is going to come; everyday is a learning experience.

I will leave things here! I know I have not written anything in about two months but as I have been going through a lot of things this past summer that caused me to walk away from my blog without informing anyone and I deeply apologize for that, to those who actually took the time out to read the posts of this blog. I want to slowly come back to this because my writing juices have been flowing and I want to take full advantage.

Please follow me on Twitter @midnightuee and please leave a comment hear and there. Also leave me comments here too and tell me about your day, don't be shy. Also, these are my thoughts on life situations that I am currently experiencing or just my personal opinion(s) on whatever I end up writing about, I know most people may take something I say to heart but don't, I do not know your officially thoughts and opinions so all that I do ask is to take my posts as suggestions or don't, whichever floats your boat the most. Hence the new name of my blog Suggestion Box which I am IN LOVE with and I am very happy with this change. It might not be super original but oh well. Hello again to those who might have missed me posting stuff, doubt it highly, but hello again everyone.

Smile towards a stranger because you never know whose day you can make better and until next time, Take Care <3

Interacting with other individuals.

I know many of you will look at the title and probably heavily sigh the same way I did right before typing this post. Or maybe your smiling at the title because you've been meeting wonderful people as of late and that's more than wonderful.

Sadly, I have been getting my fill of crappy people or people who think they do not need to do some growing. We all need to grow and we will all never stop growing, never stop developing into a better version of ourselves. There are just some people, in my opinion, whom I've caught when there are the crappy version of themselves which is common at my age group (20's) and I am starting to see more of it considering the season. 

I am only 23 years old and I know there is so much for me to learn and boy am I learning as I keep going. I still have no job at the moment and it is a deep bummer for me because I love working, that is where I shine most of the time in my opinion. I say more of the time because I know if I am not feeling well emotionally, I won't be able to perform as well as I would if I was feeling alright. 

One thing my mentor has told me on more than one occasion is that I have to learn how to be able to leave my personal life behind me when I go to work and vise versa. I had no idea how difficult it would be the older I become. When I was younger and interacted with less people, it was much simpler to be able to put all that stuff behind me when I'm working on something. Now that I am older, some of these interacts makes me deeply think about how and why people do and say the things that they do and feel that they can justify it. I had a guy recently call me boring because I'm not into meeting someone to just have intercourse with them and that is disrespectful to me because I respected the fact that he is just looking for that, someone to not be serious with and just have intercourse with whenever possible, that's fine. Going out of your way to say I'm boring because that isn't my thing is plain disrespectful and rude. This all happened on Tindr by the way. I swear, I haven't been on Tindr long but I can definitely write a book at this point.

No one should take Tindr too seriously but do not forget that on the other side is another human being so at least be nice. If it doesn't seem to be heading a certain direction, just bid your goodbyes and unmatch each other, no need to be rude or disrespectful for whatever reason.

Online interactions and offline interactions are two different things and a lot of people fail to see that considering they think they can feel all they're going to feel due to growing up in the era of technology. You're not going to feel how you think you are going to feel, seeing a person in person instead of through an electronic device is different. You feel way more sensations and emotions in person than through your tablet and a lot of people keep forgetting about that and it is just saddening. You can't hold hands through your phone, you can't threaten to roundhouse kick someone properly through a device; it just isn't the same therefore you are not going to feel the same in both scenarios.

When it comes to these sorts of interactions and such there is only so much one ( I ) can do except to cut your loses and to continue to hope for the best. Those who are reading this and have been meeting great people, wonderful, keep trying to spend some time with them and see where you friendship may lead. Those who have been interacting with crappy people lately such as myself, eat a piece of chocolate or something savory, watch TV, playing a video and do not fret too long over this stuff because you are a wonderful human being inside and out. Sadly, we cannot say that about everyone and we are going to meet some pretty bad people. What matters is to tell the difference from good and bad so that you can get rid of the bad people as soon as possible.

I am finished with my rant.

Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell me what you want me to write about or give me some suggestions or even tell me a book to read to season. Leave me a comment so that I can tell you to have a great day :) 

Until next time, Take Care <3

Be kind to yourself and others but don't be afraid to speak your mind when you are being disrespected because that shouldn't slide; do your best to speak up for yourself, it will feel empowering.

Dating...

can be a huge drag for some including myself. I am not afraid to admit that when it comes to the whole dating scene, I do not have the best experiences. Not that I never had any good experiences because I have.

I think my mistake is that I do not let go enough and I can take things a bit too seriously when the whole dating thing is suppose to be enjoyable to some extent. I understand that some people are a lot like me in the sense where we know what we what in a companionship but the fact of the matter is, most people our age are trying to get their lives in order. Some are not looking for a relationship or anything in relation either because they rather be single and live life on their own which is also okay as well; some prefer to find themselves alone rather than in a relationship.

There is really nothing wrong with seeing and getting to know more than one person at a time because that isn't the time where things are serious yet; bare with me because I am the type to see one person at a time as well. While I know there are people who have no problem seeing multiple people and getting to know them at the same time. It isn't necessarily about keeping track or tabs on the people you're getting to know, it is simply that, you're getting to see who they are as a person.

I'm the type of person that I am very selective because I do not like wasting my time so I tend to gravitate towards people who I get a good vibe from but that's just me.

This also calls in for the whole guys and girls who "low key" have multiple people their talking to when there isn't anything wrong with that. Myself for example, if I am talking to multiple people and one guy gets upset with that, I know I wouldn't know how else to break it down to him than saying that no one is serious because no one has told me they wanted to be serious with me and I am doing nothing wrong by getting to know people. There is nothing wrong with meeting a few people, being a casual friend, going out on a date here and there and seeing what happens between the two of you. 

I am also not saying to go out, meet a whole bunch of people at once and go on dates with all of them. It is okay to talk to one person at a time but also do not be too afraid to branch out here and there because it doesn't hurt to meet new people and just go out with them. So long as you know what you want and stay true to yourself and what your needs are and establish and communicate that to the other person, things should turn out alright for the most part even if you do not get what you want because at the end of the day, it is about getting what you need.

I have had many friends who have told me not to have all of my eggs in one basket in case things doesn't work out and we are in a time in our lives where things are more likely to not workout than to actually workout because not too many of us have our lives together and many people do not want to intertwine their lives with someone else's if they do not feel that their lives are settled enough which is reasonable, being fair and thoughtful of the other person as discouraging as it can be for some.

Dating is something that shouldn't be rushed and takes time, finding love takes time just like getting your life together, finding a well paying job, finally jump starting your career, moving out of your parent's place, or buying your first car; these are all things that shouldn't be rushed into because you are more likely to not find the one for you because you rushed into a commitment before testing the waters.

So don't rush to get into a relationship or to find a companionship because you will, it all takes time, don't give up hope especially is you're a fantastic person; everything will come back full circle one way or another.

Remember to always take a deep breath, drink tea, not too much caffeine, and hope for the best.

Follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee 

I know I mentioned about having a TUMBLR but I have definitely been slacking there but it's @midnighthuee as well for those who are interested. Don't be afraid to give me ideas on what you'd like me to write some suggestions on, I'd love to hear from you.

Until next time, Take Care <3

keep smiling.

Switching things up a bit.

Hello to those who read my blog.

You've noticed that I've changed the name of my blog.

I felt that it would be more suitable to what I do here; giving some form of suggestions. I do not want anyone who comes here to read what I post and take it super literal or personal; that's not what I am trying to do here. I am simply trying to do my part and give a helping hand for those who may or may not need a boost. I'm hoping to maybe perk up someone's day, something bad happen, things aren't going their way and hopefully reading something here might make them feel just a bit better.

Also, I know I ended up leaving for what feels like a long time. I said I was going to leave for about 2 weeks to get over my writer's block and that turned into 3 months and I deeply apologize for that. A lot ended up happening on my side along with the writer's block; I genuinely didn't know what to write about that would be good for those who would read it; I don't want you to get bored reading my posts, that would defeat the purpose. I am not saying I am necessarily here to entertain either but I want you guys to have something of a good time and/or take something with you when you find your way here.

The schedule is also going to change, I'm still not sure to what but for a fact I want to post twice a week and I do not want to do two posts randomly throughout the week, we all have lives.

As for now, I have returned, I have posts that I am currently working on that will be finished soon.

Thank you to those who bared with me and my absence, I truly appreciate it. Those who are new, probably not, welcome and enjoy our journey.

Until next time, Take Care <3

Don't look for your passion.

I say don't actively look for your passion because I believe your passion will find you. 

Everyone is not the same when it comes to traits; everyone functions different because everyone was raised differently and grew up in different environments; we are all the same as we are different. We all have the same emotions and feel the same things about anything generic but how we react may be different, how we remember things may or may not be different. These are some reasons why it is important for us to be as mindful as we can because we can always learn something from someone.

I say don't look for you passion because there are some people that when they are young children find what makes them go to sleep late but still wake up early to do the same thing again and again because that creates true happiness for them. Although, there are others where it takes them until their teenage years to find their passion, their young adult years to find their passion, adult years to find their passion, and elder years to find their passion. Everyone, literally, has their entire lives to find their passion, to find that thing that makes them wake up in the morning to do over and over until callus forms on their hands but their face is still gleaming.

I know it feels that we have to find just about everything in our lives, finish school in a certain amount of years, find a relationship and get married by a certain age, start a family by a certain age, get that office job and have a certain salary in order to obtain happiness when that is not the case. If that is your life, that is your life because you are happy which is what is important. I know there are days where you are not comfortable with yourself, there is something you wanted to do but it didn't work out, something you wanted to have but it didn't workout and that is more than okay; everything is not meant to workout for you because it was not the best thing for you either at all or that point in time. What matters is being aware of your flow and how you flow. Once you find your flow, you will be happy with what comes to you when it comes to you.

As I mentioned early, everyone is different in the sense where we were all raised different, we all live very different lives, we were all raised in very different environments, eat different food, and wear different clothes. So how can you expect yourself to finish school at the same time as everyone? How do you expect to find love when some other people have found love? How do you expect to find your passion around the same time as your friends? You won't, because you are you and that is more than beautiful.

Don't rush.

Breath in deeply and exhale deeply, let the oxygen circulate.

Find you flow and don't let anyone tell you how to flow because that person is  getting in the way of you happiness and that is inappropriate beyond all reason. If that person or people really care about you, they would support you and try to encourage you to be the best you no matter how fast or slow you progress because you are not always going to complete 50 levels in one day, there will be days where you will only be able to complete 1 level because that's all that was meant to be completed for whatever the reason may be; you will not always know why which is also okay; everything is not in you control and you will learn to be okay with it if you're not already okay with things being out of all our control.

I'm going to end this here. I got inspired and felt that I should share this with whomever pops into my blog. Those who have found their way here, have a wonderful day and drink plenty of water.

Until next time, Take Care <3

My writer's block

This writer's block is hitting me harder than I expected. So! I'm going to take a little break. Probably about a week or two to explore and discover new things to discuss and write about.

Please follow my TWITTER @midnighthuee

Don't hesitate to give any suggestions and comment how your day was.

Until next time, Take Care <3

BirchBox Review for April!

Hello everyone! It's that time of the month again; makeup reviews! 

I love doing these and I intend to get better at these because I love talking about great cosmetics. I just got my box from birchbox today which was perfect timing because I'm still going through a writer's block and did not know what I can talk about with you guys so this was more than perfect. First! I need to talk about this box design because it is heavenly to me. I love, love, love floral patterns. I am a huge fan so anytime I see a great floral pattern I am just swooned. The box was actually designed by Riffle Paper Company so this was a super cutesy collab and Birchbox members get a 20% off coupon for Riffle Paper so go check that out!

Now for inside the box. The first product I want to talk a little about is this Ol All in One Milk spray which I instantly fell. in. love. with. The smell of this product is so good I kept running my finger through my hair and touching my hair over and over; I couldn't stop touching or smell my hair. It has been about two hours since I put the spray and I still smell it and I love it so much. The price for a full size is $30 for those who are interested. I know it is on the pricey side but if you're into something that is great for adding volume, shine, detangling, which is a plus for my because my hair gets tangled very easily, and has a heat protectant, then this product is for you. This is actually wonderful timing because I was just running out of a heat protectant spray. I cannot stop talking about the scent because it is just right, not too strong or too faint, it smells fresh and airy almost. Clearly, very milky but in a great way. Birchbox also included the shampoo and conditioner that I would have tried if I have not already washed my hair this week. I will try it out next week and let you guys know what I thought of it.

Next! We have this wonderful clay mask, purifying 2-in-1 from derma e that I liked very deeply because my face feels so soft, not dried out and as I was rinsing it off my face, it even felt moisturized so I was very surprised about that. I know not all clay masks are made that same which is why it is important to do your research and look around for a clay mask that may be good for you. This one does have charcoal in it which is becoming very popular and with reason. With this mask, you apply a generous amount to your face and of course, be careful with them beautiful eyes when applying. You leave this one for 5 minutes or when it dries completely and rinse with warm or lukewarm water. If you want, you can wet it and gently rub it on your face if you want to exfoliate which I did and loved. So if you want to try a charcoal face mask, I suggest this one. Also keep in mind that you do have to do your masks 1-2 times a week and the full size is $19.50.

Next up is Marcelle's 3-in-1 Micellar Solution. The full size of this is $21. This is a makeup remover to put into simpler terms and a toner; great for sensitive skin too. It has calming ingredients to settle down your upset skin. I tried it when I put on the lip tar to see if there would a struggle to remove it since when it comes to matte lipsticks or stains it is known to be a struggle but with this product there was none; completely took off the lip tar which I was extremely happy about. I know I am like everyone else who struggles to remove anything matte so to have this makes me very happy. Plus, I used toilet paper because I was lazy to go back into my room to get a cotton ball and it still worked wonderfully. I recommend this for those who don't want the struggle to remove makeup and still having a toner to sooth your skin. Ponds makeup remover wipes are also great which can be found at any pharmacy or makeup supply store for about $3.99 or $4.99 if I remember correctly.

Next is this Lip Tar from Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics. The full size is $16.I have never heard of this brand and now know about it because of BirchBox and I can say that I was very disappointed with the shade given to me because I have a tan almost caramel skin tone and I was given a bright pink tone called Femme. The product itself felt and looked very dry since it is matte. I probably would have to find my space with it and look more into the brand and their products because I went to their website to took a look at their products and I loved what I saw. I would say give the brand and their product a shot because just because it didn't work out well with me the first time does not mean it won't work out at all. Keep in mind, I also put on too much at the time when you are suppose to only put a dab on your lips so enjoy!

Last but definitely not least, Juliette Has a Gun brand with their perfume, not a perfume. I. love. this. I put it on over two hours ago and I still smell it. I love this scent so much that if I could afford this, I would buy it in a heartbeat. The small bottle is $100 and the bigger size is $135 so it is pricey. For those who can afford it, I say definitely go for it because this is a great scent. It is very soft and slightly earthy, almost on the musky side which I deeply enjoy. I love musky perfumes because it makes me want to shove my face into it especially when it's not too strong which this perfume is not. I imagined a guy wearing this perfume and just shoving my face into his shirt because that's how good I find it to smell. I highly recommend this even though it is on the pricey side of the spectrum. It does not hurt to look around on Amazon or eBay or department stores to try to find this for a cheaper price. I always encourage bargain hunting :D

And that is all five products that I got in my box and my favorite is the milk spray. That wonderful milk spray. I still smell it in my hair and it's just so good, too good. I highly recommend it because of the smell alone, I think I am getting better with this and with the timing. Clearly I like birchbox a bit more than IPSY but IPSY still have plenty to off, don't judge of my bias. 

I will end things here, please comment on my TWITTER and TUMBLR @Midnighthuee and leave comments here too! Let me know if any of you readers have tried these products, any product from birchbox, any you like and tell us how that went for you and what you think =)

Let me know how I'm doing, what you guys like, and what you guys would want me to write about in the future; I'd love to hear what you guys have to say so don't be shy.

Everyone have a great day, don't forget to flash you mouth bones, and Take Care <3