'working interviews'

I had to write about this experience because it is something that I would not want others to get discouraged by.

I applied for this job and was asked to come in for an interview. I went in and I think the interview went rather well in my opinion. (of course, I'd think that way about myself. Biased much ) But, then they asked me to come in for the work interview. What a work interview is a process in which to see if you are able to complete the tasks given to you in an efficient manner and to see if you would be a suitable addition to their workplace.

I think I got along with most of the people there rather well but getting along with people at the office is never enough; that's a given. I was told on my third day there the concerns the higher-ups had. Firstly, they hesitated to tell me that I was not working effectively enough. They came off to me as not wanting to hurt my feelings or not wanting to come off as too harsh. I couldn't help but to think that this is the workplace, if you have something to say, say it. I have been in a similar situation when a higher-up didn't want to give me certain information because it was too hard for them or they were afraid of how I was going to feel.

I could go on and on and on about how incredibly unprofessional that is and how inappropriate. Due to something being difficult, does not mean it should be pushed back for your convenience when someone's livelihood is on the line; you are indebted to give said information as soon as you physically can, not when you 'feel like it.' Back to the story.

On my second and third day at their office, I thought I was doing things better, I thought I was getting the hang of things and that I was doing a lot of work; my stacks were starting to look like actual stacks. Turns out, I wasn't being efficient enough.

As mentioned prior, on my third day, the higher-up there decided to hesitate to explain to me that I was not working fast enough. I was inputting payment data and their expectation is to be able to input each check in about a minute's time. I had no idea because no one decided to inform me on this.

Also, the woman who was helping me so much and helped me to feel so comfortable told the higher-up that I kept asking the same question over and over again. I know my questions were concerning the same objective but I was inputting payments for different companies. Each company does not put the same piece of information in the same place nor in the same name so I had to memorize what each name meant. But, she said I kept asking the same questions. Cool. I don't care because I asked a lot of questions when I was encouraged to. Cool.

The woman who helped me also looked very stressed and I was questioning it because she barely knows me. If she's a caring person, I understand but at the end of the day, this is the workplace. If I don't get the position, I don't get it. I even told her that there are no hard feelings, I understand completely. At the end of it all, at least a tried; that's all that matters to me.

I say that because now I definitely know what isn't for me. I live in the city so commuting in the morning is beyond a nightmare. It's more of those reoccurring nightmares that make you dread going to sleep at night. Except my commute is in the daytime. I also can't do 9-5 jobs; they just are not for me. Ever since I was really young, before I knew I had pretty bad insomnia young, I never saw myself waking up super early to get somewhere at 9 in the morning and to leave at 5 in the afternoon to squish myself into train carts and standing up until I got home. Merely thinking about it all makes me feel so physically and emotionally exhausted.

At the end of it all, the higher-up asked me to come in on the following Monday to give me a chance. Afterward, I got a call a few hours later from said higher-up explaining to me that she explained everything to her boss and he gave the no for me to continue working for them. At least I'm going to get paid for my time working there. The hard part was actually done for me because nothing in me said to go back. There was such a lack of communication that I was turned off by the company and the position; I didn't want to work for them anymore.

It got me thinking about what I really want to do with myself, thinking about beginning to understand why so many people don't like working for other people and if maybe I wanted to have a small business of my own. Not sure but, it has been a thought more than once for me because I'm liking the act of working for other people less and less. There are too many people who prefer to take advantage of a large group of young adults and not pay them the money they obviously deserve.

Here's the part I want you to remember. You don't have to feel discouraged when a job does not hire you. It is never a personal attack and they don't decide to hire you because of personal reasons; doesn't happen that often. They just didn't see you being suitable for the position and that's fine, you will find a position that is better for you where you are appreciated.

I know it feels incredibly difficult to find a job in any city. I never realized how excruciating it is until I finally had to do it and honestly, I fucking hate it. I wish I could pick up all my shit, move to a suburban area, into a beautiful and cozy home and work in a bookstore. I wish. One could dream. My dream is to constantly be surrounded by books in my dreams.

Anyway, I know it is hard and it will continue to be but don't let people who don't know you get the best of you. You know you're worth. You know you are amazing and you're an amazing worker too. That position was not for you and it's okay; everything is not going to be for you. Life is about searching for everything that is for you. It's going to a tough and rough road ahead and it is going to be stressful and draining. Despite all that, I think in the end, it could be definitely worth the wait and all the hard work you put into it. Honestly, I know you just have to believe in yourself and something will work out for you, one way or another. ✨

Well, that's all I have to say for now. I am going to hit the pause button here. Until I decide to hit play on the next topic at hand.

Oh also! I can't help but feel that 'working interviews' are a scam to get people to work for their business for lower wages and without having to hire them after they get their shit done. But, that's just a theory. I get that people want to see how others are in action but damn; some people seriously need to be more active in their communication. Honestly. Okay, I'm done, this time. Swear.

Please follow me on TWITTER @MIDNIGHTHUEE and share with us how you intend to make the holidays better for someone.

I also have my WATTPAD account where my stories live in case those may be interested in reading my creative writing. I appreciate the support deeply and truly.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt because you know yourself best. You do.

Smile : ) Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

'What is standing in your way right now'

I decided to answer another one of my writing prompts since it has been a while and I thought this was a really good question. I also wanted to share for those who might need a little time to dig into their inner selves.

My answer was, "I'd say the only thing in my way is me. I know I am capable of being able to do and complete so much. I can't help but to continue to feel 'where can my skills be used the most?' My biggest passion is writing and always has been for a very long time. There was even a time in my life when I wasn't creatively writing and writing was rarely on my mind. Due to the head space I was in at the time, I had completely forgotten about my love and passion for writing. When I got older and got to a remotely better place with my overall well-being, I tried writing again. But nothing was coming out for years. During the previous summers, I tried buying fancy pens and canary yellow toned notepads thinking the fancier the supplies were, the more inspired I'd become. Things didn't work out that way and I couldn't write anything for about 3 summers. It was heart-breaking but I never had it in mind to give-up. I kept having in mind to leave my writing alone, give it some space and come back to it later hoping to have something good to write. I'm also afraid of what I'm capable of as well and scaring people away is another. I'm also afraid of biting more than I can chew and really messing up."

Overall, my fears are getting in the way of me doing and giving more to myself professionally. I'm scared of scaring people away because I can be 'intense' and 'bold' but over time I learned that it does not matter if I scare those people away because if they do scare that 'easily' then they are not the people to be in my life as a friend. Maybe they can fit somewhere else in my life but as my friend, it is a no because I can be very bold and intense. I have two best friends who love me because I have those traits. They even encourage me to keep being my best-self and that is something we all need; people who will encourage and help us to become our best-selves.

This prompt is suppose to be a page long but of course I recommend anyone to write as long as they feel they need to. I do suggest this prompt for anyone who'd want to take some time out to sit with themselves and think of what could be 'standing in their way right now.' When I first bumped into this prompt I thought it was appropriate for me to answer such a question that will cause me to think a little deeper because I needed to. I'm in a place where I need to start thinking of the next step in my life and figuring out how to make that next step. I'm not saying I'm in a bad spot. I just need to be in a better spot since I want more for myself and I need to give myself more. I need to continue to tell myself that I need more and I deserve more. The more I channel this, the more likely I am to strive for a life situation that is better for me and my future.

I'm going to end things here because honestly I've been tired from work and all I wanna do is read and think of more stories to post on my Wattpad. Please check it out and leave comments on what you would like to read about. I'm sorry if this feels rushed to anyone because it was and I kept feeling bad if I didn't post anything so I hope this is good enough until my next post.

Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell me what you do when you're tired that you barely want to do anything.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3


small announcement: I won't be able to post every Sunday anymore, sadly, since things keep coming up on my side which prevents me from getting the chance to sit down and write out my posts. Even though I have not and won't be posting every Sunday, I do intend to post once a week. Things might get better when I get a new computer but for now, I will be posting once a week.