Everyone Doesn't have Good Parents

I wanted to make this post for those who don't have good parents and have to continuously explain to people that they do not go to their parents for typical parent situations.

Before anyone starts questioning, I don't think my parents are that bad compared to other's but their short comings can have a lasting hit. A lot of people refuse to acknowledge that emotional hits can last but they can be remembered for a long time for some.

There have been times when I wished my mother would have actually defended me or there have been times when I wished my dad was more careful with his words. But at the end of the day, they are people who are going to make mistakes. When the kids become adults, we are constantly told not to take certain things personally and that includes what our parents end up telling us no matter how much it may hurt. I personally still don't know how to tell my parents they hurt my feelings. It sounds and feels weird to me because hearing sorry from them doesn't make the pain they caused any less.

I also know that my parents are not that bad compared to parents who are negligence, physically hurting their children, selling their children for sex and drugs, abandoning them before their lives have started, and the list goes on. I am more than grateful for my parents; they wanted better lives for themselves in result made sure their children could have a fighting chance in this world. My parents have been parents almost their whole lives and that is not an easy decision to make.

There are so many children, so many adults who still hurt until this day from what their parents said and did to them and we can't always tell who those hurting people are or what they may look like. Some were able to get passed all of those hardships, forgive their parents enough to move on and not to let that sort of energy consume or prevent them from living their lives.

Others, on the other hand, are still struggling from the hardships they have experienced with their parents to the point where they do not know how to move on; some do not know how to forgive. Some might not want to forgive their parents because they believe their parents do not deserve forgiveness.

It is a touchy subject for some and it's understandable. Some kids kill for the day for their parent(s) to tell them they're proud of them or to hear their parents tell them excellent job meanwhile other kids don't have to work as hard to hear, "excellent job, I'm so proud of you, you worked very hard and you deserve a break." Some kids would kill to hear that sentence. Some kids would kill to just have loving and involved parents.

The up side is that once we do become adults, we are in charge of who we are and who we want to become; we don't have our parents holding us back anymore. It can be scary as hell as first but the more we think about how scary the world can be or is, the less steps we are going to take forward. We can think about how scary things can be for a little bit and prepare for certain outcomes since we can never really be prepared for anything and everything; we can only do the best that we can. 

So on that note, I am going to end things here. I know we can do it. It will be a hard and strenuous  road ahead but it's our road and we can do whatever the hell we want with it. We just have to keep doing what we are doing and something will budge somewhere down the line.

Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and share with us a little bit of good and bad about your parents. Think of it as an outlet.
I also have my Wattpad account where my stories lives in case those may be interested in reading my creative writing. I'd appreciate the support deeply and truly.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt because you know yourself best. You do.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

you're more than enough.

I wanted to take the time out to make this post for those who are currently not feeling like they are not enough. People out there who feel like what they are doing might feel like it is not enough when all they've have been doing is trying. I want to let you know that you are not the only one but you are doing enough. You are doing your best to be the best version of yourself. We keep hearing that we should strive to be the best versions of ourselves but no one is going on about how hard it is. Some people might be but I don't think enough people are deeply talking about how hard it can be to be our best selves. Sometimes it feels constantly difficult to be the best 'us' we can be because our best may not be 'the best' at times. 

It fucking sucks.

We wake up early every morning and we don't see the results we thought would occur from our hard work from the night before. We work hard all day and we feel exhausted by the end of the day; sometimes we don't feel like there is much of a change in our lives. We feel like all of our hard work is going nowhere and we continue to feel drained.

Some of our jobs are sucking us dry and we continue to give and give and we feel like we are receiving nothing in return; not even a thank you. And you know you're doing a lot. Whether it is for your job, your friends, your family, you spouse, the random homeless person you're always giving dollars to, you're doing a lot.

But guess what? Even though it might not feel like you are enough in this very moment, you need to tell yourself you are because you are enough. You are doing so much for others and yourself. There had been so many times when you put others ahead of yourself and you did not feel appreciate enough. In those moments, appreciate yourself because you know what you did. Tell yourself good job and keep things going for yourself. Yeah it might be silly at first to tell yourself, "good job. Keep up the good work" but you know you did. You know you did do a good job! Hell! You did a great job! 

Why is it so silly to tell yourself what anyone else would when they recognize good work and effort being given?  

When something didn't workout in your favor but you know you did everything you were able to do in your power, tell yourself that it's okay but it was enough.

It's okay to be sad because something didn't work out. Of course you are going to be sad and bummed out for a while. Of course we are going to be sad and bummed out for a while because it was something you truly wanted and you thought things would be different this time. Sadly, this time things were not so different. Again. But it is okay even though its not okay right now. Overall, things are okay because you still have some type of income coming from somewhere, you have some kind of family, you friends, and most of your health.

Aging is a hell of a thing.

So you are enough. You did say enough and you did do enough. You did enough for the person you were in the moment. I'm writing this stuff out for us to not continue to be so hard on ourselves. We have to learn to be gentler with ourselves and try to blame others for their wrong doing. We cannot continue to have the mentality that we are always the one at fault. Sometimes we are but other times we are not at fault and we have to get better at pointing it out. We have to become more comfortable with pointing out other people's short-comings because who else is going to defend us? Someone might but that is never a guarantee. We have to become more comfortable with advocating for ourselves because we have to be the first person to love ourselves and to have our own backs.

We have to be selfish sometimes and put ourselves first. We especially have to do that when we are being disrespected. That does not mean we fight fire with fire. That means we found our balanced way of pointing out things that we are not comfortable with. Even if we don't get it right the first time it is more than okay because we have our whole lives to get it right and to become more comfortable. Yeah it's embarrassing but how bland would life be if we couldn't experience different emotions in different moments?

You are more than enough. Remember that. Do not let anyone tell you to your face that you are not enough and let them get away with it. You are always enough. We are always enough.

I will end things here.

Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell yourself and your loved ones that they're enough and give them a big squeezing hug. Trust me, it works.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3