'working interviews'

I had to write about this experience because it is something that I would not want others to get discouraged by.

I applied for this job and was asked to come in for an interview. I went in and I think the interview went rather well in my opinion. (of course, I'd think that way about myself. Biased much ) But, then they asked me to come in for the work interview. What a work interview is a process in which to see if you are able to complete the tasks given to you in an efficient manner and to see if you would be a suitable addition to their workplace.

I think I got along with most of the people there rather well but getting along with people at the office is never enough; that's a given. I was told on my third day there the concerns the higher-ups had. Firstly, they hesitated to tell me that I was not working effectively enough. They came off to me as not wanting to hurt my feelings or not wanting to come off as too harsh. I couldn't help but to think that this is the workplace, if you have something to say, say it. I have been in a similar situation when a higher-up didn't want to give me certain information because it was too hard for them or they were afraid of how I was going to feel.

I could go on and on and on about how incredibly unprofessional that is and how inappropriate. Due to something being difficult, does not mean it should be pushed back for your convenience when someone's livelihood is on the line; you are indebted to give said information as soon as you physically can, not when you 'feel like it.' Back to the story.

On my second and third day at their office, I thought I was doing things better, I thought I was getting the hang of things and that I was doing a lot of work; my stacks were starting to look like actual stacks. Turns out, I wasn't being efficient enough.

As mentioned prior, on my third day, the higher-up there decided to hesitate to explain to me that I was not working fast enough. I was inputting payment data and their expectation is to be able to input each check in about a minute's time. I had no idea because no one decided to inform me on this.

Also, the woman who was helping me so much and helped me to feel so comfortable told the higher-up that I kept asking the same question over and over again. I know my questions were concerning the same objective but I was inputting payments for different companies. Each company does not put the same piece of information in the same place nor in the same name so I had to memorize what each name meant. But, she said I kept asking the same questions. Cool. I don't care because I asked a lot of questions when I was encouraged to. Cool.

The woman who helped me also looked very stressed and I was questioning it because she barely knows me. If she's a caring person, I understand but at the end of the day, this is the workplace. If I don't get the position, I don't get it. I even told her that there are no hard feelings, I understand completely. At the end of it all, at least a tried; that's all that matters to me.

I say that because now I definitely know what isn't for me. I live in the city so commuting in the morning is beyond a nightmare. It's more of those reoccurring nightmares that make you dread going to sleep at night. Except my commute is in the daytime. I also can't do 9-5 jobs; they just are not for me. Ever since I was really young, before I knew I had pretty bad insomnia young, I never saw myself waking up super early to get somewhere at 9 in the morning and to leave at 5 in the afternoon to squish myself into train carts and standing up until I got home. Merely thinking about it all makes me feel so physically and emotionally exhausted.

At the end of it all, the higher-up asked me to come in on the following Monday to give me a chance. Afterward, I got a call a few hours later from said higher-up explaining to me that she explained everything to her boss and he gave the no for me to continue working for them. At least I'm going to get paid for my time working there. The hard part was actually done for me because nothing in me said to go back. There was such a lack of communication that I was turned off by the company and the position; I didn't want to work for them anymore.

It got me thinking about what I really want to do with myself, thinking about beginning to understand why so many people don't like working for other people and if maybe I wanted to have a small business of my own. Not sure but, it has been a thought more than once for me because I'm liking the act of working for other people less and less. There are too many people who prefer to take advantage of a large group of young adults and not pay them the money they obviously deserve.

Here's the part I want you to remember. You don't have to feel discouraged when a job does not hire you. It is never a personal attack and they don't decide to hire you because of personal reasons; doesn't happen that often. They just didn't see you being suitable for the position and that's fine, you will find a position that is better for you where you are appreciated.

I know it feels incredibly difficult to find a job in any city. I never realized how excruciating it is until I finally had to do it and honestly, I fucking hate it. I wish I could pick up all my shit, move to a suburban area, into a beautiful and cozy home and work in a bookstore. I wish. One could dream. My dream is to constantly be surrounded by books in my dreams.

Anyway, I know it is hard and it will continue to be but don't let people who don't know you get the best of you. You know you're worth. You know you are amazing and you're an amazing worker too. That position was not for you and it's okay; everything is not going to be for you. Life is about searching for everything that is for you. It's going to a tough and rough road ahead and it is going to be stressful and draining. Despite all that, I think in the end, it could be definitely worth the wait and all the hard work you put into it. Honestly, I know you just have to believe in yourself and something will work out for you, one way or another. ✨

Well, that's all I have to say for now. I am going to hit the pause button here. Until I decide to hit play on the next topic at hand.

Oh also! I can't help but feel that 'working interviews' are a scam to get people to work for their business for lower wages and without having to hire them after they get their shit done. But, that's just a theory. I get that people want to see how others are in action but damn; some people seriously need to be more active in their communication. Honestly. Okay, I'm done, this time. Swear.

Please follow me on TWITTER @MIDNIGHTHUEE and share with us how you intend to make the holidays better for someone.

I also have my WATTPAD account where my stories live in case those may be interested in reading my creative writing. I appreciate the support deeply and truly.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt because you know yourself best. You do.

Smile : ) Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

letting yourself feel.

I got inspired to write this post because I got really sad about something I've been dealing with the other day. I'm usually not the type to cry about whatever it was that I was sad about. My body even has a hard time crying most of the time whenever something does make me sad.

Sounds terrible, I know, but that's just how my body is for now.

But, this time I actually let myself cry. I was able to cry and I probably cried for about 5-10 minutes and I actually felt better. I know I'm talking about something that isn't new but I know people tend to forget to let themselves feel out their emotions or like myself, they don't let themselves feel their emotions out often enough.

I can't recall the last time I cried and I felt a little better. It felt brand new to me even though the act of crying and feeling better is not.

I remember I've been told no crying or princesses don't cry. I heard other people be told similar phrases and I know it would leave a bad taste in my mouth. I can't remember a moment when I told someone not to cry when they were genuinely sad about something. I'm not all that great anymore when it comes to comforting a person right away when they start crying like when I was younger but I try.

It's a very humane thing when someone starts crying. They're hurting and as their loved ones we have to try our best to comfort and console them through their troubling times; no matter how annoying it may or will get.

The older I get, I keep thinking about this psychiatrist that I met who I thought was a total bitch. I disliked her from the moment I told her nicely that she mispronounced my last name and she couldn't take me correcting her. Sometimes it takes something as small as such an encounter to get an idea of how a person is going to be with you.

But, something she told me stuck with me. It was that life is going to get more stressful. That was the only thing I took from her because, at the time, I thought I'd be able to tackle anything on my own. I was wrong. I can't do everything on my own but it was scary for me because that's all I know; how to do things on my own even if I'm doing something for someone else, I'd do it on my own. It wasn't until a few years ago that I've been getting better at asking and receiving help. It sounds silly but that's how life is for many people such as myself; we have a hard time asking and receiving help because we've done things for ourselves and on our own for so long.

Whoever reads this, I hope they understand that is it okay to cry. This is a reminder that it is not a form of weakness. It's not. It may feel that way but it's not. You will feel better after you give yourself the time to cry. Along with being patient with yourself to give yourself the time you need to heal from whatever it may be that is causing you the hurt to sad cry in the first place. You will gradually feel better; you just have to trust yourself to slide into your sadness (emotions), become aware of them and figure out a way that works for you in order for you to accept them wholeheartedly. 

There is no guarantee though that you will feel better right after but at least, you let yourself feel whatever emotions you were feeling and you're on a better path of feeling better.

That's all I have to say for now. I know I haven't made a blog post in a few months now and I said I'd come back around the end of March but I'm having too much fun writing my stories. It's this adventure that I'm on and it's something. It's small but it's mine. So for now, I don't have a schedule for my blog anymore. I don't know who was on the ride with my blog but whoever was, I hope they're not too mad about this.

I do plan to post but I don't always have a good idea to write something for my blog. But whenever I do, I will post.

You can follow me on TWITTER @MIDNIGHTHUEE and share whatever is on your mind. Be friendly.

I also have my WATTPAD account where my stories live in case anyone is interested in reading my creative writing. I appreciate the support deeply and truly.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt because you know yourself best. You do.

Smile : ) Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3


                                                                                                                                       Happy Easter : )

update.

I wanted to make a post for everyone since it has been a while. I am still on my hiatus but I thought it would be a good idea to tell you guys a little about what is going on on my side.

I think I am finally making progress on being healthier. The hardest part for me is starting and to continue after a certain amount of time. I always get to a point where I feel good and better and my body gets lazy as a result. My body feels like I'm in a good place and I don't have to continue exercising anymore or I don't have to eat my healthy food anymore. Which sucks!

I hate that my body does that; when I get to a good place my body slacks.

I can admit that I am naturally a lazy person. It took me years to become productive but one thing to keep in mind is I did not become very productive over-night or even in a month's time. I started getting really busy when I was in college. I wanted to do a lot to make sure I had something to do after I graduated. I was able to accomplish that goal but I did not accomplish it the way I wanted to.

I ended up being at my part-time job, at the time, Monday through Friday and now at my current part-time job, I am there Monday through Friday and every other Saturday. I work a lot at my current part-time job. I have told my supervisor before that I do not expect to be worked as a full-time employee if I am paid as a part-time employee; I don't place those games.

I just didn't think that I'd be 25 still having a part-time job no matter how fulfilling it can be. It does suck that I am in a place where I didn't expect to be but I'm not the first and last. I think it is pretty rare for a person to become financially stable, in a city, very early on in this lives. Granted, we have the internet now and we see a bunch of young kids making A LOT of money.

Don't let that discourage you! There are MULTIPLE reasons as to why they are making so much money at such a young age. I don't want to spend this post listing them but keep that in mind; there are a lot of people around the world and their lives are completely different than ours. That's reasonable because we don't want our lives to be similar to someone else's, we want our own lives, our own individual stories to tell.

But I digress. I'm still not sure yet when I will return since I honestly do not have many posts written. I haven't been that active on my Wattpad account as often as I'd like either. I have been thinking to come back early or mid-March though. Just to give you guys an idea of when to start expecting my posts again. I will let you guys know if anything changes.

Leave comments below and tell me how things have been with you.

Please follow me on TWITTER @MIDNIGHTHUEE and share with us how you intend to make the holidays better for someone.

I also have my WATTPAD account where my stories live in case those may be interested in reading my creative writing. I appreciate the support deeply and truly.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt because you know yourself best. You do.

Smile : ) Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

small hiatus

I have a post at the ready that will come out this week, more than likely. But afterward, I need to take a little hiatus.

I have really been serious and focusing on losing weight for health reasons. I really want to make that my main priority at the moment. I don't see myself taking a long leave but long enough for me to lose some weight and get some good writing done.

I have been feeling that some of my recent stuff is not great and is rushed to some extent. I want to take some time out to really get some ideas flowing and to give those who actually read my posts something to think about.

The whole point of my blog is to get us thinking about nontraditional things. I was us to think critically and why not push some boundaries? Let's talk about those 'taboo' topics and just have a discussion. Some people get too emotional and make things personal when people just want to talk and have fun. Avoid those people if you want a legitimate conversation and to probably have a fun debate.

Again, thank you for those who have been here since the beginning and the newcomers. You mean so much to me. I don't know who you are but you exist and that's more than enough for me. Keep reading, keep exploring, and stay questioning.

I'll be back soon. 💖

appreciation post

It is time for an appreciation post. This is my first time doing one and I hope those who read it can understand how much this means to me. It has been over 2 years now since I have started my blog and it has been something. I know when I was younger I've tried multiple times having something of a blog or anything in relation. Same thing with my writing; I kept trying to be active with posting my creative writing online but it never went well for me.

I know deep down I never really wanted to be famous or whatever on the internet because I like having my privacy. That is something I strive for; to have as much privacy as possible. As I've become older, I realized that it is okay to be somewhat known if that ever happens to me. As I started writing again, I kept thinking that I do want something of a fan-base, I truly do. I want a group of people to want to read my writing because it does encourage me to write more. It encourages me to get creative and think outside the box with my stories. It continues to get me thinking how I can get my stories to be as entertaining and real as possible.

These are places that I never imagined I would be with my writing. When I was younger, I used to come up with story plots but I never got the chance to actually write out those stories. Now I do and there is nothing more I want to do than share it with those who want to read them. I'm also always open to constructive criticism. I always want to make sure that I can make the best stories that I possibly can.

I appreciate anyone and everyone who reads my posts. It means the world to me. Towards the end of last year, I ended up getting such a bump in views and I got so excited. It also made me feel very hopeful because my hard work paid off. I want to continue to write. I hope to one day be in a place where I can write more often and make something of a living off it.

I want to keep writing for everyone who wants to continue reading and I want to keep saying thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. Whatever is left of my heart. I appreciate every single view and I appreciate every single person who decides to follow. You give me so my hope, motivation and drive to keep going with my writing.

Thank you, everyone, again. I look forward to writing more in 2018.

I also want to take the time out to say continue being yourself because everyone else is taken. Don't pretend to be someone that you are not. Do your best to be your best you and things will fall into place before you know it. Keep moving forward for you.

Please follow me on TWITTER @MIDNIGHTHUEE and share with us how you intend to make the holidays better for someone.

I also have my WATTPAD account where my stories live in case those may be interested in reading my creative writing. I appreciate the support deeply and truly.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt because you know yourself best. You do.

Smile : ) Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

2018

I wanted to take the time out for this post and really think about what I was going to say because this is the time for most when they take the time out to reflect. 

I wanted to take this time out to thank those who have been here from the beginning, those who are still here supporting my blog and my writing. You don't know how much it truly means to me and I do my best to keep up with everything, continue to write as often as I can and to put out as much as I can. I really want my writing to reach those in need for them to know they are not alone; there are people out there who care.

I wanted to also say that if you felt like your year was uneventful, it's probably not true; just think about it a little more. When I say that I mean bonding with friends more is eventful, going back to school, a promotion at work, getting a video game you've been waiting for a long time, your physical and mental health improved, all of these things are eventful. In order for something to be eventful, it does not necessarily have to be this big and grandiose event. Appreciate the little things too.

Time is a human construct in order to feel some form of control over their lives. Which I can understand but I don't want others to put so much attention on the year ending and beginning. I prefer everyone to continue to focus on ourselves and doing what we need and want to do. There is a better place waiting for us and we should be working hard and striving to get there as soon as we can but we don't have to rush to get there.

All that aside, use this time however as you see fit; do what you have to do in order to feel comfortable with the new year. One of my close friends spent the day cleaning so that she could start the new year with a clean room. I thought it was pretty cool since I never thought to do that. When it came to me, I tend to go think about who I am, who I want to be and how I can head towards that road to becoming a better me. I don't like going into the new year with expectations because that is how I set myself up for disappointment. I want to go into things with no expectations and take things as they come.

As for the goals I had and completed, I exercised more, read more and learned to love myself more which is more than amazing to me. Those were things I didn't think I would accomplish as soon as I did and I'm more than proud of myself. Even if you didn't complete your goals yet, you should still feel very proud because you're still working towards it. My suggestion for most people is to not focus so much on when you become successful; you probably already are. Focus on you and your loved ones; keep doing what you're doing because you're doing great. Don't worry about the negative things some people will say because people are always going to talk. Ignore them and focus on those who are supporting you because they want to see you continue to succeed. Focus on your mind, your body and your spirit and those around you. Listen to your body, do not neglect it. Do what you have to do in order to stay fine, healthy and fight those who dare to get in the way of your health or your loved one's overall health.

Side note, I remember finding an image that said to write down all of the good stuff that happens to you throughout the year and putting them all in a jar. That way, at the end of the year, you can read them and read about how great your year was. That resonated with me and it is something I am considering to do. Some pretty harsh things ended up happening to me this year and it mostly had to deal with my mental health. It felt like a long road but I'm very fortunate that things went the way that they did.

I wanted to fill this post with inspiration, realism and to encourage everyone to keep being themselves, keep loving your loved ones as hard as you can, be kind, hold onto your mannerisms and keep focusing on what creates your joy. Give back some of the joy when the time comes. It doesn't cost a thing to give kindness and be kind to someone to help them smile. Keep loving yourself and continue to be understanding with yourself and give yourself all the time you need. If you keep working hard, you will get rewarded when you least expect it; just keep being you.

I'm going to end things here and I hope everyone keeps heading forward for their better future. Don't worry about the time, you're doing great. Keep going. Keep fighting and go into the year as a positive force.

Please follow me on TWITTER @MIDNIGHTHUEE and share with us how you intend to make the holidays better for someone.

I also have my WATTPAD account where my stories live in case those may be interested in reading my creative writing. I appreciate the support deeply and truly.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt because you know yourself best. You do.

Smile : ) Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

And, Happy New Year, Everyone. Let's have a great year together <3

find what inspires you

You don't actively have to look for what inspires you, it can find you when you least expect it. We are all humans beings so of course we are not always going to feel inspired all of the time. But that does not mean we can't find what can help us feel inspired.

We all have something that we are striving to become, striving to do but we can lose motivation and drive from time to time. That is why it is important to hold on and keep what inspires us in a safe place so that we can gain that reminder when needed.

Some people keep a picture in their wallet so that they get reminded every time they open up their wallets. Some people carry around a letter with them so that they can't forget what they're fighting for. Others may have a show or a book that they watch when they need to get the juices going.

Long story short, we're human and we are not always going to feel motivated to do what we want or have to do; it's common and happens to the best of us. Especially as we get older; our bodies will continue to change and we can only control so much of how our bodies respond to certain situations.

That does not mean that there aren't just as many, if not more, things that we can do to help our bodies and minds to keep us on the right path, on the path we want to be on.

I'll use myself as an example real quick. I haven't been getting any ideas for posts and I recently wrote more chapters for my fanfiction stories on my wattpad account but they need to be edited before I can publish them. But I haven't really been in the mood and I've been waiting for my writing juices to ignite but they haven't been so I was just being patient. But then, I bumped into this anime that has revolved around people who write their hearts on paper. It's supposed to be a slice of life anime with some drama and comedy. I've seen a few episodes and I think it's great so far. It ended up giving me the inspiration I needed.

These characters are younger than me and they're living my dream like it's nothing. It related back to one of the lines in said anime which is that everything you want, someone already has and as usual, they're not grateful for having it. That line stuck out to me because it's true. I honestly have a hard time appreciating all that I have because even though it may not feel like a lot sometimes, I know it's way more than some and there will always be someone somewhere who may want what I have. I may not think of it that often but it's true. Not everyone has a coat but wants or may need one. Not everyone has a computer but there are usually people who want or needs one. We have to learn how to appreciate where we are right now in our lives because it can always be worse and to keep striving.

There are too many people who are currently struggling and seriously don't have much. If you are a person who can give some time back to those in need, please do so. I know those in need will appreciate the time you spend on them with all their hearts.

Find your drive, find what or who motivates you to get out of bed, to keep moving forward and keep it somewhere safe so that you can access it anytime you need those creative wheels to start turning again.

I wanted to keep this one pretty brief since it all just came to me and this was all I had to say about the matter. I guess this can be a short but sweet post.

Please follow me on TWITTER @MIDNIGHTHUEE and share what motivates you or how you motivate others.

I also have my WATTPAD account where my stories lives in case those may be interested in reading my creative writing. I appreciate the support deeply and truly.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt because you know yourself best. You do.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

Some can't spread holiday cheer

I wanted to bring up this topic again and give it the attention it deserves. I haven't been searching around yet to see how many are really talking about this. I can speak for myself that ever since finding a mentor and having such deep conversations did I learn about this one. I never thought of people having a hard time around the holidays because of the time of year. Everyone is cheery, donating, volunteering and helping others so much that it never came to mind for me the other struggles around us other than some unfortunately being homeless or not having enough food or a coat to keep them warm outside.

There are people who are trying to manage with a recent lost which I can only imagine how that feels. I went to a banquet not long ago with my parents for their union. Everyone was giving their speeches about the union and how they will continue the fight for everyone to have some form of healthcare and to be treated with nothing less than respect. When it was the president's turn to speak, I can't remember what I was expecting at the time because what I got was completely human.

When I say completely human, the president of the union was completely transparent and honest with himself and what he is currently experiencing in his life. The man was in tears because he started speaking about his wife. He talked about how she passed away in September and now we are in December. He has not had his wife for about 3 months when they would have been together for 43 years. 43 years. I need everyone to sit with that number for a whole moment because that only made me think of my parents who have been together for about the same amount of years.

He spoke about celebrating Thanksgiving and having to learn a lesson that he never thought he would have to learn nor did he want to learn. He learned that he is heartbroken. 

He said more but hearing this got to me and I couldn't fathom his emotions. He's hurting so much and there's only so much, as humans, that we can give to this somber man. That man is now living without his wife whom he had been for 43 years and now he has to learn how to live without her because he's still on his life mission. He has to continue that mission without her and I was tearing up with this man; a man that I have never met and I do not know personally. There were times when he was choking up on stage because of course, he is thinking of no one much other than his wife. He spoke about how when she was in the hospital, everything went fine before she passed away. All the doctors and nurses were nice and thoughtful. They were all so help to him and his wife and she was treated with all the respect and dignity she deserved. He wanted to point that out because that was a reality for them because of their fight to make sure everyone has healthcare.

This man is suffering right now and there are millions like him. There are people suffering, there are people crying as you are reading this, there are people who have no one in their lives, no family, no friends, people currently living with depression, with anxiety, with some type of mood or personality disorder that may or may not kill them in the future and the list will go on forever.

Just because it is a time to be cheery and loving, does not mean everyone can do it. It is so important to try to be kinder to others because we really do not know what is going on in everyone's live. We can't tell just by looking at them when we just so happened to catch them on their good day. We have to listen to each other, be understanding, sympathetic and empathetic.

I want to stress these things because it should not just be around this time of year, it should be all year round. We need to find ways to be kinder as often as we can to others. Try to help others all year round. Listen to people who just need to talk for a moment all year round. Be sympathetic and empathetic to those who need it all year old. This is not the only time of year people need help in some way; these sorts of terrible experiences happens all year round.

I know we're not perfect but just trying can be enough for someone in their time of need.

Okay. I am going to end things here. I told myself I didn't want this to be too long and it looks too long. Even though I'm typing this on my computer. I needed to come back to this topic because as I mentioned, I've known for a long time now that this is a hard time for some and I try my best to be available to those in need and do whatever I can do. But listening to the President of the union be vulnerable and so open with everyone about what he is going through made me have to write about this more and give it the spotlight this topic deserves. I want to let those know, who are having a rough time, to reach out to someone. Even if it's here! Reach out to me and I'll talk to you. Sometimes people just need to talk. I just want those who are reading and having a tough time to know that you are not alone. There will be always someone somewhere willing to help. I know how difficult it can be to open up a bit but you have to say something in order for someone to know that you are hurting and we'll steer the wheel from there. Everyone, be safe out there.

I also wanted to take the time out to thank those who have been reading my posts around the time I started up until now and to those who are new and reading my stuff. I still have no idea exactly what I am doing. A lot of the times I am basically writing for myself since I'm not sure whose reading. Last week though, the amount of views I usually got shot up and I have been getting more! I needed to take the time out to thanks those who go out of their way to read my posts and support. I'm just so very grateful. Sure I don't have hundreds or thousands but I'm grateful nonetheless because every little bit counts. I feel that much closer to achieving my dreams and goals. Thank you so much! <3

Please follow me on TWITTER @MIDNIGHTHUEE and share with us how you intend to make the holidays better for someone.

I also have my WATTPAD account where my stories lives in case those may be interested in reading my creative writing. I appreciate the support deeply and truly.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt because you know yourself best. You do.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

Respecting our journeys

"I wasn't sure what exactly to talk about but I know I wanted it to be on a happier note. I have been talking a lot about mental health since I have been struggling with it. I noticed that one of the reasons why I have been struggling with my mental health is because I've been too hard on myself and not respecting my journey."

I decided to keep the top part because that was me when I was not feeling mentally alright. I want to stress for those who were in my shoes or who are currently in those shoes that it is okay to not be okay sometimes because a lot of us live in a society where they are beyond stressful. Our bodies are not built to endure such great amounts of stress for an extended period of time. So of course, something bad is bound to happen when we continue to exert ourselves and not give ourselves enough breaks. You can commit to your work and be a great worker which is amazing because there are so many people who are not a great worker which is factual. But that does not mean that you cannot give yourself breaks. You need breaks for your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. Our health is of the utmost importance. We need to make sure that our health is our number one priority.

If we do not put our health first, we won't be much of anything. The reason why we are able to do what we are able to do for a long time is because we are healthy. If we weren't healthy, we wouldn't be able to do much of anything.

This is the time of year where people may be working more which is okay; just make sure to have a break somewhere. It is okay to not work at all but make sure you are doing something to keep yourself active even if it's just walking around the block. There are different ways to give yourself a break.

I titled this post 'respecting our journeys' because it is very important to respect our own individual paths. We live in a technology ran world where anything is accessible including everyone else's lives. We can continuously see what other people are doing and of course, they put a majority of the good things they are experiencing because they want people to enjoy those good times with them. When it comes to some people anyway in my opinion. Unfortunately, not everyone is taught to be happy for people. When some people continue to see others having a good time and if they are not doing the same, they have an opposite effect. They feel they are missing out. They feel that they should be able to do the same things in their lives but probably can't for whatever the reason may be. Which, can lead to many negatives feelings and outcomes.

That is the moment when you are disrespecting your journey and yourself. It is okay to feel envious or jealous of others since it's a humane emotion but it doesn't mean that it's a good humane feeling. It's not good because why be jealous and envious? You have your things too; other people literally just have different stuff and live situations. Yes, everyone wants to have pretty things, have a lot of money and go on awesome looking adventures but as I said, people on the internet put a majority of the good stuff that they are experiencing; it does not mean that the entire experience was wonderful. It does not mean that all of their experiences are amazing; they are human too and are going to go through trials and tribulations just like you and me.

I put the good stuff because I want people to feel happy or joyous when they read my posts. But I also don't mind putting some of the rough situations I experience because I don't want people to feel as alone as I'd feel sometimes. I always hope and wish that my posts reach those who need them most. I always hope that people read my posts and don't feel so alone anymore because they are not. There are others who feel the same way.

That is why I want to stress to respect our journeys. If we didn't reach our ideal weight yet, that is more than okay. Be mindful of all the time you have to get to your ideal body type. You didn't get into the school you wanted to? That only sucks now because it is a does suck not to get into the school you wanted to but you probably will later or get into a better school. Yes, you could get into a worse school but it doesn't matter because what you make of your experience is what really matters. You don't have to go to the best school to get the best job. How you present yourself and showing what you are capable of will go much farther than what school you went to. Whatever your situation is that you don't like, it is temporary, it really is. Nothing, that I can think of, lasts forever so let's try to make the most of what we have and try to do our best with them. I know we can do it. It does feel hard because it is a tough situation. We are going to have time when we feel very low because that is part of the journey.

When we are feeling very low, that is the moment when we can learn the most about ourselves. We can take those lessons and apply them when we are feeling much better and are doing the best can do.

I will end things here. It felt good to get some things off my chest. I hope some of you feel better getting some things off your chest too.

Please follow me on TWITTER @MIDNIGHTHUEE and share with us how your journey is going whether it is good or bad. Sometimes it can be good to share.

I also have my WATTPAD account where my stories live in case those may be interested in reading my creative writing. I'd appreciate the support deeply and truly.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt because you know yourself best. You do.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

Holidays are Hard for some

This is a fact that some may know and others may not know but when it comes to the holiday season, it is vastly difficult for a lot of people.

This could be the time for a group of people when they are remembering someone they lost around this time of year because someone or another group of people decided to be careless which is known to happen around this time of year a lot.

Yes, there is a bunch of people who are careless all year round but when it comes to this time of year, for some, it skyrockets which puts even more lives in danger. Unfortunately, due to other's carelessness, others have to suffer and deal with some loses which is hard around a time when it is known to be a cheery time of year.

Some people do not get a chance to be around their family for whatever the reason may be. It is known that traveling around this time is very stressful because millions are traveling at once. So it becomes that much harder to get from place to place to see your family and friends.

Some people just don't have anyone to share this time of year with which is very hard to imagine for some but that is the reality for millions of people.

That's why I wanted to make the time out to make this post just to remind others to do your best and to be a human being and just spread some cheer around; be kind and mindful to others. Don't go around making it your mission to give someone a hard time just because you may or may not be having a good time for a moment. There are millions of people who are having a very difficult time and they do not need you to make it worse for them when their situation is worse than yours. Which is definitely a possible so don't entertain the thought of whose got it worse.

Everyone should do their very best to be as kind as they can and not just this time of year but all year round because there are millions of people whose life situations may not be getting better just yet or might not get better for quite some time. Don't be a jerk to strangers because they're a stranger. Even if the person may have given you a hard time, try being the bigger person and walk away from an unnecessary situation. Most of us are not children anymore; prison is always an option.

I may make another post about the holidays since I love this time of year but since I'm tired from work, I may not be as active as I usually am. Plus, considering my life situation, it's better just to watch and enjoy the festivities from afar when it comes to family; I can do much more active activities with my close and best friends.

This seems like a nice place to stop. Recap. Don't be a jerk on purpose to people because this is the time of year, and throughout the year, where a lot of people are having a hard time. Many people may have lost someone close, many people have mental illnesses they are dealing with or learning how to live with those illnesses, this is also the time of year where many people lose a lot. So please try to be kind and mindful of others and do a kind deed. Also, if you clearly see someone doing something wrong to another person, don't be too afraid to stand up for that person; not everyone knows how to defend themselves. It is okay to be the hero sometimes so long as you have a very good idea of what you're getting yourself into because some people can be very dangerous. Please be careful out there.

Please, please, please, be careful everyone.

Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and share with us how you spend your holidays.

I also have my Wattpad account where my stories lives in case those may be interested in reading my creative writing. I'd appreciate the support deeply and truly.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt because you know yourself best. You do.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

Everyone Doesn't have Good Parents

I wanted to make this post for those who don't have good parents and have to continuously explain to people that they do not go to their parents for typical parent situations.

Before anyone starts questioning, I don't think my parents are that bad compared to other's but their short comings can have a lasting hit. A lot of people refuse to acknowledge that emotional hits can last but they can be remembered for a long time for some.

There have been times when I wished my mother would have actually defended me or there have been times when I wished my dad was more careful with his words. But at the end of the day, they are people who are going to make mistakes. When the kids become adults, we are constantly told not to take certain things personally and that includes what our parents end up telling us no matter how much it may hurt. I personally still don't know how to tell my parents they hurt my feelings. It sounds and feels weird to me because hearing sorry from them doesn't make the pain they caused any less.

I also know that my parents are not that bad compared to parents who are negligence, physically hurting their children, selling their children for sex and drugs, abandoning them before their lives have started, and the list goes on. I am more than grateful for my parents; they wanted better lives for themselves in result made sure their children could have a fighting chance in this world. My parents have been parents almost their whole lives and that is not an easy decision to make.

There are so many children, so many adults who still hurt until this day from what their parents said and did to them and we can't always tell who those hurting people are or what they may look like. Some were able to get passed all of those hardships, forgive their parents enough to move on and not to let that sort of energy consume or prevent them from living their lives.

Others, on the other hand, are still struggling from the hardships they have experienced with their parents to the point where they do not know how to move on; some do not know how to forgive. Some might not want to forgive their parents because they believe their parents do not deserve forgiveness.

It is a touchy subject for some and it's understandable. Some kids kill for the day for their parent(s) to tell them they're proud of them or to hear their parents tell them excellent job meanwhile other kids don't have to work as hard to hear, "excellent job, I'm so proud of you, you worked very hard and you deserve a break." Some kids would kill to hear that sentence. Some kids would kill to just have loving and involved parents.

The up side is that once we do become adults, we are in charge of who we are and who we want to become; we don't have our parents holding us back anymore. It can be scary as hell as first but the more we think about how scary the world can be or is, the less steps we are going to take forward. We can think about how scary things can be for a little bit and prepare for certain outcomes since we can never really be prepared for anything and everything; we can only do the best that we can. 

So on that note, I am going to end things here. I know we can do it. It will be a hard and strenuous  road ahead but it's our road and we can do whatever the hell we want with it. We just have to keep doing what we are doing and something will budge somewhere down the line.

Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and share with us a little bit of good and bad about your parents. Think of it as an outlet.
I also have my Wattpad account where my stories lives in case those may be interested in reading my creative writing. I'd appreciate the support deeply and truly.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt because you know yourself best. You do.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

Give Yourself a Break

It is very important for us to give ourselves a break or else we will burn-out and be of use to no one including ourselves.

We need to make it a habit to give ourselves a break whether that is asking for a personal day, making sure do partake in our hobbies on a daily or every other day basis or just doing the things you love to do and just only doing that for a period of time.

We all work hard and that is great. The issue is, we work too hard for too long. I've seen plenty of people who are burnt out or are going to be burnt out very soon and that isn't good at all for anybody. We always want to feel full of energy and be lively which is great. But that does not mean that we always have to be that way. We can schedule days for ourselves where we are just relaxing or spending time with the people we love.

Yes, we do have our days off but sometimes two days just isn't enough. And that's to say if you even have two days off. I know some people who either have one day off or have no days off which is terrible. 

Everyone needs a breaks from time to time.

I wanted to take the time to write about this because I have not been giving myself enough time to have a break. I used to have my two days off every week when I was in college and it was exactly what I needed. But then I started socializing more and it really took it's toll on me over time. I found myself tired almost all the time at a point. That was when I knew I had to socialize accordingly or else I wouldn't be able to do much of anything because I wouldn't have enough energy for it. I also work a lot more now and this is where I have been learning a lot more again about giving myself the days I need to recuperate.

As I said, we need to take care of ourselves in the best of ways because not a lot of people can. Yes, our loved ones do take care of us and make sure we are grooming ourselves properly, eating, and drinking enough water.

But when it comes to knowing our own limits, our loved ones are not always going to notice that. It is important to learn about ourselves more, figure out our limits, and know when to give ourselves a day off or more than a day if needed. Also! It's very important not to feel guilty about it either. I knew it took me some time to not feel bad about not going to work. I know I work very hard and I'm sure many of you do too if you end up feeling bad about not being at work. Give yourselves the time off you deserve!

Take your days off, rejuvenate yourselves, and get ready for the week ahead, it's gonna be filled with a lot of great stuff to do.

I'm going to end things here. I didn't want this post to be too long today because I've noticed that some of my posts turn out to be much longer than anticipated so I'll do my best to hand out some shorter ones once in a while.

Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell me what do you do on your days off.
I also have my Wattpad account where my stories lives in case those may be interested in reading my creative writing. I'd appreciate the support deeply and truly.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt because you know yourself best. You do.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

'Black-ish' episode : Mother Nature

I watched one of the new episodes of 'Black-ish" not long ago. It was the episode 'mother nature' where Rainbow 'Bo', is experiencing postpartum depression and I am in tears for probably half of the episode. I was looking straight into a mirror. I could relate to her character on such a deep level and I knew I had to write about it. I have not had a child so I have not experienced postpartum depression specifically but I have experienced depression due to high levels of stress and that shit sucked.

You want to be healthy so bad but you know mentally you are not.

I am desperate for mental health issues to become more normalized in the sense that people in our society becomes more aware to the point that anyone would recommend a trip to a doctor's office like they do a broken foot or the common cold. I know that things would become so much easier for millions of Americans alone if mental health issues were given the attention it so rightfully deserves.

Bo kept saying she was fine anytime her husband, Dre asked if she was okay when clearly she was not okay. Her depression was known throughout their home and her children were worried. Her husband was worried and they did not know what to do to help their mother who was clearly not alright. My depression was barely known. I probably only told 3-4 people about my depression. Now more people know because I have more strength and energy to talk about it and advocate for others whenever the opportunity presents itself. I'm not even sure if my parents noticed.

But I kept thinking that this actress did her homework and for that, I am so grateful to her. We do not talk about the mothers who just gave birth enough. How is she feeling? What is she doing? How is her mental health? Besides the fact we are not talking about depression and mental health enough, imagine a mother who just gave birth and is expected to be the happiest mother in the world because she just gave birth to her child but she isn't. Birth is so strenuous on the body no matter how much we advance in medicine; pregnancy is another human being renting out your body for 9 months.

Kids don't always take something from their mom on their way out but for some moms, things are taken. They should not be shamed for it, they should gain treatment when they do not feel like themselves anymore after giving birth.

I found the episode to be deeply inspiration and I hope this is a topic that gets talked about more.

All the women who decided to get pregnant to have their children are special people. It is not easy to be pregnant for a portion of women and for them to do it anyway shows more credit than society gives; we should change that.

There is a lot of situations and reactions that need to change when it comes to mental health and hopefully circumstances will only improve and not go backwards. 

short announcement: I also wanted to take this time to share with those who read my blog posts, that I am changing the name of my post from 'Suggestion Box', to 'Substance for the Subconscious'. I am very happy to be doing this because I feel like this is a name that is mine and that rolls of the tongue a bit. I know a lot of people might not like the ring of it but I do. It is a scary step but I can always change it again but for now, I wanna try out 'Substance for the Subconscious' to see how that goes.

Thank you to those who do read my blog and I hope you have been enjoying the ride. I hope to only get better and to continue to give you food for your thoughts.

Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell me what are some techniques you have been taught to help improve your mental health? I also have my Wattpad account where my stories lives in case those may be interested in reading my creative writing. I'd appreciate the support deeply and truly.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt because you know yourself best. You do.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

'What is standing in your way right now'

I decided to answer another one of my writing prompts since it has been a while and I thought this was a really good question. I also wanted to share for those who might need a little time to dig into their inner selves.

My answer was, "I'd say the only thing in my way is me. I know I am capable of being able to do and complete so much. I can't help but to continue to feel 'where can my skills be used the most?' My biggest passion is writing and always has been for a very long time. There was even a time in my life when I wasn't creatively writing and writing was rarely on my mind. Due to the head space I was in at the time, I had completely forgotten about my love and passion for writing. When I got older and got to a remotely better place with my overall well-being, I tried writing again. But nothing was coming out for years. During the previous summers, I tried buying fancy pens and canary yellow toned notepads thinking the fancier the supplies were, the more inspired I'd become. Things didn't work out that way and I couldn't write anything for about 3 summers. It was heart-breaking but I never had it in mind to give-up. I kept having in mind to leave my writing alone, give it some space and come back to it later hoping to have something good to write. I'm also afraid of what I'm capable of as well and scaring people away is another. I'm also afraid of biting more than I can chew and really messing up."

Overall, my fears are getting in the way of me doing and giving more to myself professionally. I'm scared of scaring people away because I can be 'intense' and 'bold' but over time I learned that it does not matter if I scare those people away because if they do scare that 'easily' then they are not the people to be in my life as a friend. Maybe they can fit somewhere else in my life but as my friend, it is a no because I can be very bold and intense. I have two best friends who love me because I have those traits. They even encourage me to keep being my best-self and that is something we all need; people who will encourage and help us to become our best-selves.

This prompt is suppose to be a page long but of course I recommend anyone to write as long as they feel they need to. I do suggest this prompt for anyone who'd want to take some time out to sit with themselves and think of what could be 'standing in their way right now.' When I first bumped into this prompt I thought it was appropriate for me to answer such a question that will cause me to think a little deeper because I needed to. I'm in a place where I need to start thinking of the next step in my life and figuring out how to make that next step. I'm not saying I'm in a bad spot. I just need to be in a better spot since I want more for myself and I need to give myself more. I need to continue to tell myself that I need more and I deserve more. The more I channel this, the more likely I am to strive for a life situation that is better for me and my future.

I'm going to end things here because honestly I've been tired from work and all I wanna do is read and think of more stories to post on my Wattpad. Please check it out and leave comments on what you would like to read about. I'm sorry if this feels rushed to anyone because it was and I kept feeling bad if I didn't post anything so I hope this is good enough until my next post.

Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell me what you do when you're tired that you barely want to do anything.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3


small announcement: I won't be able to post every Sunday anymore, sadly, since things keep coming up on my side which prevents me from getting the chance to sit down and write out my posts. Even though I have not and won't be posting every Sunday, I do intend to post once a week. Things might get better when I get a new computer but for now, I will be posting once a week.