Emotional times in Friendships

We all know that despite how perfect we think most of our friendships are, we know deep down they're not and tough times are going to happen for whatever the reason may be. Anything could happen, just like with everything in this life, can happen to our relationships. Our words do matter when it comes to your loved ones or anyone else you have an encounter with.

I wanted to talk a little about it because I have had a few very emotional days as of late and I honestly was a bit scared of how my body may or may not react to it all. You just never know when it comes to certain situations how you body or mind may react especially if there are certain situations you just don't handle well for whatever the person reason is; all our of our upbringings are different no matter how similar they can be.

I am the type of person that I know how to push things to the side that I do not find significant. The problem in that is if I do not come to terms with the situation first it may bottle up inside me without me realizing and can be released in other ways that may not be healthy not just for me but for those around me.

I felt emotional on those days because of the conversations I was having with certain people. I am not good when things start to escalate such as if people start getting yelling or screaming seriously. I am not good with those sorts of situations because of the family issues growing up. I have developed a little bit of anxiety over time but it has decrease the more I have being having these kinds of conversations. I know it sucks to be anxious but sometimes facing people or situations head on can help a lot for the future.

The first conversation was through a messenger but the person started off the conversation being nothing but rude including with the greeting. The person did not give me a hello or even stated that things are intense between us and we should fix things. The person opened up the conversation by stating "whatever it is that you have to say to me, tell me, here is your opportunity." I was taken a back and couldn't help but to feel irked because who does this person think they are to speak to someone else so rudely? Also, I find it rude to get in contact with a person you're not that close with late at night. It already shows that the other person did things on their time and did not consider the other person's schedule. This person contacted me at 10:30 pm, Eastern Time. Anything past 7 o'clock, and we're not close friends is late to me.

One thing I will say is not to tolerate rude people. You get away from those sorts of people because if they are rude to you once, they will do it again. I can promise you that. Even if it doesn't happen the next week or so, even the next year, they will be rude again and it may be worse than the first time.

I had a talk with another friend that leaves me questioning the friendship even more to the point where I do not think I can no longer call him a friend. Our friendship was starting to wilt because I thought our friendship was closer and it turned out not to be which hurt and disappointed me deeply. I know plenty of you have been through situations like this and yes, it does suck to lose a friend. The silver lining is that it leaves room to meet new people to make new and amazing friends that are healthy and does not stress you out.

Another reason I wanted to talk a little about this is because there are people out there who do not react to these sorts of situations well and that is why I want to keep talking about our emotions and our thinking processes. I am a sensitive person. In my case,  I will talk the situation for an extra day more than some other people. Although, there are people that internalize the situation, for example, without meaning to; it was the way their mind and body chose to process the situation. There are some people who generally feel that they are at fault for the entire situation whether or not it was their fault at all. That is deeply concerning to me.

Those are some reasons why I feel is it important to have these conversations about these kinds of situations to remind the person or people that yes, it is a tough time but that is exactly what it is; a tough time and it will pass. Times like these does not mean you have a hard or tough life, it means you are going through a hard and tough time. Try to remember to keep in mind that you do your best and to realize that you are human and will make mistakes.

During those times, I know where I may have been at fault in certain situations but I refuse to beat myself up over a situation(s). Other should not beat themselves up over it either because that will not solve anything for the other parties involved or you. You have to put yourself first because when no one else does who will? 

A couple tips I do have for these situations is to take a break. Take some time away from the situation to give yourself some time to process everything. It also gives all parties an opportunity to not get mad at each other and say things they may regret or hurtful out of anger. That is a common thing to happen because we're all human but if this is a person or people you want to keep in your life, be aware of your word choice and in what tone you choose to express your words through.

Another tip is to drink water, tea, your favorite beverage that is not alcoholic and/or eat something. Stressing over the situation won't solve it either so try drinking something. The most important thing I can suggest is to BREATH in deeply. Do not forget to control your breath! Big, big tip. It might sound funny but you would be surprised how often we literally forget to breath in and out properly. Doing this helps to clear your mind thus thinking through the situation rationally. 

When you're going through a tough patch with your friend or whomever is important to you, the whole point is the resolve things and to reach a compromise. You want to hear each other out and figure things out together. Do not try to 'one up' each other and have the last word because that is not the solution either of you are looking for. That happened during a conversation with someone I do not think I can consider a friend anymore. Things got to a point where it felt like the person wanted to have the last say instead of resolving all the issues they had.

Keep in mind that you love this person or people and you want what is best for all of you.

I will end things here. Everything I say here is merely a suggestion. No matter what I suggest, you can make the final decision in what you think is best for you. Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell me how you settle disagreements with your loved ones.

Smile. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3

'Dear White People'

Before anyone assumes anything from the title, which happens, this show is not about what you may be thinking. Barely anything in the show is literally towards white people. Even the title is the beginning of a letter you are writing to something to talk about something with them. That is basically what this show is about; explaining a situation. 

Of course I needed to talk about this show for a bit because I am all about calling out racism whenever it is present, towards any and all races, and this show is partially about that. This show is based off the movie which I need to see and will do as soon as I find it so if anyone knows where I can watch it, please send me the link on my twitter @midnighthuee.

The show is about black students at an Ivy league school who are dealing with racism on their campus. The students end up not feeling as safe due to an black party that happened on campus and it is a real thing; school throwing culture parties where they come dressed up as a certain race or culture. Check it out here if you've never heard or seen it before like myself. Photos, complex, LATimes. Due to them feeling a lack of safety, they decided to band together to take a stand to make the school realize that a lot of people on campus are still racist towards black people specifically. 

This is where things start to get interesting with the show because each black person is very diverse when it comes to their upbringing and how they decide to solve the race situation on their campus. Everyone wants the same things but goes about it in such different ways and it does become a little sad to watch because I think anyone would say why won’t they just work together if they all want the same solution? In a way, they agree that racism is of course an issue on their campus but the more they try to fix things, they end up pushing each other away because they can't agree on a way to solve this problem. Then the show goes in a bit deeper to show how black people can treat each other which is another huge issue. Not only with black people but with the other two races too; White and Asian.

Issues dealing with how people in your culture or race treat you is not exclusive. It does and can happen to everyone. "The majority" picks on other white or Asian "minorities" they feel are not “white enough” or “Asian enough.” That phrase still boggles because what the fuck does that mean that someone is not enough of their race which makes up their entire living and breathing body? What happen to the people who think it is okay to say to someone “you’re not __enough.” Everyone is not trying to be a certain race, that is who they are. Black people are black people, they are not “trying to be black. Asian people are Asian, they are not “trying to be Asian” and white people are white, they are not “trying to be white.” That is who they are and if you can not accept a person for how they were born, for who they truly are, there is always a door you can leave through.

Another situation is that some people did not think that racism was still a problem. There is a black girl in the show who was more than baffled that racism was still occurring. Everyone else who was are aware of these issues looked at the girl funny, like she was stupid even because how can a black girl not know that racism towards her race still happens? Her upbringing. Her parents probably ostracized her from that way of thinking. It can happen to everyone even in our technology era. I know it is easy to look at a person like they're stupid for not knowing something that is a large problem but for whatever reason, they don't. It is more important to educate that person than to belittle them. I am guilty of looking at people as if they're stupid but I should not make it a habit. 

We want to create a space where everyone feels safe enough to not know about something and then learn about it soon after.

This show is not an attack towards white people what so ever. It is another an attack towards any race or ethnic group for that matter.. My intake of the show is that it is trying to show a part of life that other people may not be aware of.

That is all I have to say besides watch the show and just enjoy it for what it is. Don't try to make things into a race thing or ethnicity thing, that is what the show is for. It is a great show and I highly encourage others to watch it. 

I will end things here. Everything I say here is merely a suggestion. No matter what I suggest, you can make the final decision in what you think is best for you. Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell me what you think of the show if you've seen it already or why you don't want to watch the show. Feel free to share.

Smile :) Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3