This is a hell of a subject. I had lost friends who I thought I'd
grow old with.
I've lost friends without realizing the relationship was becoming more distant
but I felt I didn't have the power to save it. Would I have mustard up
some unknown strength if I had support if I talked about it more? I honestly don't know. This is such a difficult and emotional topic. There are times when
you think everything is okay when it isn't and you weren't even given a chance
to try to discuss the situation. I think it is one of the suckiest feelings in
the world. Most people want, at least, a chance to fix things.
How can we fix
something that we don't know is broken? It also goes both ways.
We let go of people that we don't think is good for us whether or
not we tell them that we think the friendship should end.
Breaking up with our
friends.
I know it's not a common saying but essentially, that's what we're
doing.
Just like when we
break up with romantic partners, we tell them that it's over; we can't do it
anymore. There are some people, of course, who don't tell they're romantic
partners that they're breaking up with them, they just go ghost; disappear.
I think it makes
us suck as humans to do that to each other no matter what our personal reasons are.
People stop being friends all the time for whatever the reason may
be. Whether something bad happened that they just can’t let go or they let
certain situations get in the way of their friendships; friend-break ups do happen and it is terrible when it does.
Just like romantic break ups, people need their time to morn. I
was friends with people for about ten years that I’m not friends with anymore.
One of them I would not hesitate to help but as for the friendship we had, it
is no longer a reality and it is still hard for me to say that just because of
how important she was. She still is important but the friendship is no longer what it
was.
It hard and from my experience, I haven’t met a person who didn’t
understand. I think we can all understand that when we lose a friend, for
whatever reason, it sucks no matter what. We don’t like losing friends. We don’t
like the idea of any type of relationship becoming severed but I think there
are legitimate reasons to stop being friends with someone no matter how hard it
may be to let go.
I did have friends who took me for granted and I felt took
advantage at a point. When you have friends who only call you when they need
something, you are not friends; you’re their therapist they call once a week.
When you are genuine friends with someone, you ask about their day
because you’re interested and curious about how they are doing; you want to
make sure everything is going well in their life. If things are not going okay
then as a caring friend, you try to help in whatever way you know you can.
A healthy friendship is one where you can both grow and be
yourselves with each other with no negative judgment because they care
about you; they're there for you when you want to try someone new and they support you for example.
Losing a friend suck. If you really care about someone, I think it
is possible to salvage friendships but of course, it something that requires
effort and dedication because yes, both parties got hurt but it is possible that one was more hurt than the other in the act of the friendship
ending; you have to show them, all over again, that you care and genuinely want
them in your life again.
Getting over certain friendships may be harder than some, just
like romantic relationships; everyone isn't going to effect or impact you the same way.
People do feel hurt, some do cry and it does cause heartache. If
you really care about the person, I say try talking to them to see what happens
and work with what they give you.
If you see that the other person is better off without you, even
if you’re not, I think it is best to leave them alone because if you really
love and care about someone, you let them do whatever makes them happy even
when that includes being without you.
Those were some of my thoughts on losing friendships. I know some
people may not agree with me and that’s great because I’m not right all the
time.
Follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell me what you think or
how you felt losing a friend.
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