Friends w/ Benefits

Okay, let’s talk about friends with benefits for a bit. 'Millennials' are pretty much officially the generation that mainstreamed friends with benefits without even meaning to; it just happened.

I think we are very comfortable with ourselves sexually and more power to us. I know there are some people who are not comfortable with themselves sexually and that’s okay because we all have such a long time to find ourselves sexually.

I wanted to bring up friends with benefits because of the negative connotations that are attached to it. Right off the bat, I am going to say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a friend(s) with benefits and you should not frown or shame someone who does because that is their decision and both or more parties consented to it. Unless you friend(s) is talking to you about their sexual endeavors, it’s none of you business what you friend(s) is doing in the privacy of their home.

If you are a person who is not comfortable with the idea of having sex with one or more of your friends, then let yourself be heard if it is ever brought up to you. Clearly state to your friend(s) that you are not about that life and make sure they understand so that they never bring it up to you if you are really that uncomfortable about it.

Those who are more than down with having sex with one of you friends, make sure to lay down some grounds rules from the very beginning and communication has to be rule number one or else things can get messy real quick.

You two, or more, are friends first so you should have no problem speaking to each other about what is going to happen in the bedroom and outside.

Be mindful of who you pick to be your friends with benefits. If you are in a place in your life where you are trying to get over someone and do not want a serious relationship, pick a friend who is on the same boat as you because we do not want feelings getting hurt because both, or all, intentions were not established from the very beginning.

Also keep in mind that feelings can or will change over time. That is why communication is very important to have between all parties. If you think you might want to date your friend(s) seriously, talk to them to see how they feel about it. If they feel the same then that’s great and you pick things up from there. If they do not feel the same way about you romantically, then getting out of that arrangement is the way to go in order to save your romantic feelings. Do whatever you have to do to save your romantic feelings from getting more hurt than necessary. 

Another thing, when you feel like your time of being friends with the sexual benefits is over, break it down to your friend that you too will no longer be having sex with one another because you think it’s time to return to just being friends.

I also want to point out that I know nothing is perfect. Some arrangements can return back to being platonic friends and I know other friendships can end over it because it got too weird for one person or someone's feelings got too hurt. Whatever happened somewhere in the mix, it’s important to try to talk things out and if things do not work out in the end, sadly, try to let things go so that you are not stuck in that dark place which could possibly become toxic for you and other involved. We don't want that.

Mainly, remember to have fun! We all have needs and you’re not just having sex with a complete stranger, that person is your friend. So have all the fun you can with them until your new spouse comes along.

That is all I have to say about the topic for now.  I do intend to talk about sex because it has become mainstream because, clearly, everyone does it so I don’t know why we’re not talking about it enough. I will continue to.

Everything I say here is merely a suggestion, please don’t take none of this to heart and do what you think is the best decision for you. Please follow me on TWITTER @midnighthuee and tell me if Friends w/ Benefits is or is not for you.

Going out for a walk for at least 10 minutes can increase your mood, so I hear. Try to do one good deed each day and until next time, Take Care <3