Speaking very well from experience, I have been so hard on myself for years.
It actually took me until recently to realize actually, how hard I really was being on myself. It was so bad that it did get to the point that I would internally beat myself up over stuff and it normally had to do with me not getting a grade I considered good enough or if it was a grade I was not used to receiving.
As I mentioned on more than one occasion, I am a recent graduate; I finished my undergraduate program on December 10th of 2015, which is also my birthday. I ended my undergrad by taking a graduate class to get a feel of what graduate school may be like and there is so much pressure because of so little work you are given. The assignments are in bulk. In my class, I was given a power-point presentation that had to be about 30 minutes long and a 10 page paper. It might not sound like a lot of work but once it got closer to the end of the semester, our professor told us that everyone did well on the power-point presentation and that it was not counted towards our final grade; it was a preparation for our papers.
The whole class rode on that one paper.
I couldn’t even remember the last time I felt so much pressure on one paper. I felt absolutely terrible when I saw my final grade online and I got a C. Incredibly discouraging. The moment I saw my grade, I immediately thought that I would never make it into graduate school because my grade for my one graduate class sucks.
It took me about a day to get over the whole ordeal and to remind myself that I have good grades in many other classes that will help me even if my GPA is a 2.9; it wasn’t the end of the world so I had to stop acting as if it was.
Honestly, I am hesitant in going back for a Master’s degree but it would be a huge accomplishment for me and even for my family since no one in my immediate family ever went to school long enough to gain a Master’s degree. So when the time comes that I feel confident enough to apply, I won’t stop until I get accepted somewhere no matter how much of a challenge it may be.
My point is, don’t be so hard on yourselves. You are your number one cheerleader. You are the first person to pick yourself up when you fall. I know for some, including myself, it may be difficult to not be hard on yourself especially when you know you are capable of doing so much better. There are going to be times when you do give it your best and for some reason you do not get the results you thought you were going to get. I believe it is the universe in the works to lead you to where you need to be, not where you want to be. Everyone has some sort of purpose no matter how small it may appear to others. You will not live up to that purpose if you are busy beating yourself up over things and being too damn hard on yourself. You’re human, treat yourself like one.
It took me a lot of meditation and writing to realize how hard I was being on myself and I became much happier when I paid more attention to my internal actions. Sure, I may still be hard on myself from time to time but I am a lot softer than before. It may sound weird but hug yourself, caress and rub your arms from time to time because it is very relieving. It might sound lonely to some but you are your best friend so treat yourself like it and take care of yourself.
One of my close friends would tell me to eat something sweet whenever I was upset about something so try eating a little piece of cake. Those who aren’t the biggest sweet tooth, maybe try something savory, go for you favorite snack, just have a bit and pay attention to how much you’re progressively feeling better.
Be mindful of yourself because you are always going to be first.
I think here is a good place to end things for now. Thank you to those who are reading my posts, I highly appreciate it!
I encourage to leave comments so that I know how you guys are doing and feeling and it will help give me more ideas on what to write for my next post.
Until next time everyone, take care <3
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